A Thanksgiving Feast of Sports Stuff!

First, some general NBA observations;

I hate the Wizards. Seriously, this is my least favorite basketball team of all time. I hate every part of the organization and the entire team. There might be one guy on the entire team I wouldn't run over with my car if I had the opportunity . . . no, scratch that, I'm sure there isn't. How much do I hate the Wizards? Let me count the ways:

1. I hate Ernie Grunfeld. No GM in the NBA has so mastered the art of putting together a collection of overpaid mercenary scrubs. At no point in Grunfeld's not at all distinguished career has he been willing to put any effort into building a team that makes sense from the ground up. Let's start with his time in New York, where he took one of the game's easiest building blocks - a dominant center - and managed to squander his entire career by surrounding him with not-special mercenary veterans and did absolutely nothing in the draft to secure the future of the organization. From 1994 onward, the Knicks used their draft picks on Monty Williams and Charlie Ward in 1994, nobody in 1995, John Wallace, Walter McCarty, and Dontae Jones in 1996, John Thomas in 1997, Demarco Johnson and Sean Marks in 1998, and Frederic Weis and J.R. Koch in 1998. Is anybody surprised the Knicks spent the next decade embarrassing the game of basketball? In 1999, every player on the team except Patrick Ewing was brought in by Grunfeld. Here's that roster: Ewing, Latrell Sprewell, Allan Houston, Ward, Larry Johnson, Marcus Camby, Kurt Thomas, Chris Childs, John Wallace, etc., etc. It was a terrible, top-heavy roster headlined by guys at the wrong position with overlapping skill-sets. I hated that team.

In Milwaukee, he took over a team that already had its talent nucleus in place and did the following: added Lindsay Hunter, Mark Pope, Jerome Kersey, and Greg Foster in 2000; in 2001, he traded Scott Williams and a 1st round pick (Josh Smith) for Aleksander Radojevic and Kevin Willis, signed Anthony Mason's corpse, signed Greg Anthony's corpse, traded for Jamal Sampson, and drafted Marcus Haislip, Dan Gadzuric, and Flip Murray. That same year, he waived Aleksander Radojevic, for whom he'd traded a first round pick. In 2002, he traded Glenn Robinson for Tony Kukoc, Leon Smith, and a pick that turned into T.J. Ford. He then signed Mike Wilks, Kevin Ollie, Laron Profit, and Cedric Henderson, all of whom he waived that same year. He then traded Ray Allen, Flip Murray, Kevin Ollie and a first round draft pick for Desmond Mason and Gary Payton's washed up corpse. In 2003, he drafted (in addition to T.J. Ford) someone named Szymon Szewczyk and Keith Bogans, and then (because he had Gary Payton's corpse at point) he traded Sam Cassell and Earvin Johnson for Anthony Peeler and Joe Smith.

Someone show me a single good move he made in all those years as a General Manager. One time where he shrewdly evaluated talent or added a dynamic player to his own team. To me, it looks like he got fleeced over and over and literally never improved a team he was working for. The guy gave up two first round picks and Ray Allen in two years and only came away with Desmond Mason and Gary Payton. It's no coincidence that neither team has been worth a damn since Grunfeld came and went; he chased out the talented players, replaced them with scrubs, and did nothing in the draft.

Now he's in Washington, and he's accumulated one of the worst rosters in the entire sport. He overpaid for one of the NBA's most overrated stars and has assembled a roster that makes no sense whatsoever, top to bottom.

2. I hate Gilbert Arenas. I mean I really hate Gilbert Arenas. If you can't see everything that's wrong with him as a team's centerpiece, as a starting guard, as a teammate, and as a professional, there's something wrong with you. He has to be the single least efficient offensive focal point in the NBA. As a starting point guard, he makes no sense whatsoever, because he can't guard any opposing point faster than Chauncey Billups (if he had any interest in guarding anybody anyway), he's too small and apparently too important offensively to body up 2-guards, his need to operate with the ball in his hands without creating opportunities for his teammates bogs down the offense, and when his shot isn't falling, he can't do any single other thing well on the court. He'd make sense coming off the bench a la Jamal Crawford (who, incidentally, is the exact same player only healthier, more athletic, and significantly less annoying), because he's a streaky scorer without a natural position who could carry your second unit for a stretch or give a boost to your starters, but his ego would never allow that. He's an abysmal teammate; he hates sharing the ball on offense, he plays terrible, terrible team defense, he's far too goofy and selfish to ever be a leader off the court, and when things go south, he says things like "everyone seems to have hidden agendas around here", which is pretty much exactly what he said last week about the Wizards. And as for professionalism . . . I'm pretty sure we've covered that. He's a joke.

3. Caron Butler is a tough defender who can do a thing or two offensively, but any good team in the NBA would have him playing the Trevor Ariza role; defending perimeter scorers, slashing, spotting up for open threes, never handling the ball and never the focal point of the offense. This season, he's decided to be a big dog and take as many heisted, selfish, ill-advised one-on-one possessions as possible. Screw him.

4. Antawn Jamison has long been one of my least favorite players in the NBA. This guy puts up meaningless numbers and has convinced all the terrible fans around here that he's a pro's pro's pro, a warrior and a team leader and all other kinds of bullshit. First of all, the first time Antawn Jamison took a shot outside of 14 feet in an NBA game should have been the last time. He takes an incredible number of bad shots in every game he plays. Secondly, he's a terrible passer who generally kills the flow of the offense every time he touches the ball because it takes him 5 seconds to figure out what to do next. Third, he can't defend any position in the game of basketball. Jamison is another guy who would never start for a good NBA team. A tweener who takes irresponsible shots, scores in streaks, and can't defend? Sounds like a sixth or seventh man to me.

5. Flip Saunders is like that chronically single girl who's been at every party you've attended for the past few years. You know the one; slightly attractive, not much personality but laughs real loud and drinks a lot. You know, Good Time Sally. She's the girl you hook up with after you finally break up with the girl with whom you had no future but dated for too long anyway, but before you find the right girl and really fall in love. Good Time Sally will drink with you and your buddies, go to all the parties, be fun in bed, and generally hold down the fort and reaffirm your masculinity for a while while you recover your wits after an ugly situation, but we all know she's not the solution. Flip Saunders is not the solution for the Wizards. He can keep them afloat for now, while they try to make sense of this disasterous roster/salary cap situation. I say fuck that. Screw the salary cap. Screw the now. They need to dump every single turd on the roster, fire everyone in the front office, and start completely over from scratch.

6. Everyone else. Seriously. If I were in charge of this team today, there's not a single player I'd clutch tightly. I'd listen to any offer for any player. Do I think Andray Blache and JaVale McGee could be good players on a good team? Sure. They're the only two players I'd even consider keeping. I'd give Gilbert away for a steak sandwich. I'd take literally any expiring deal or 2-year deal in the NBA for Jamison, or any young player at all. Same with Butler. I'd pay double Nick Young's salary if the police would look the other way while I ran him over with my car. I'd trade Brendon Haywood for (I shit you not) a WNBA player. I would pay a team to take Brendon Haywood.

Chris Bosh, you are a turd. For a long time now, I've been waiting to say that. Chris Bosh is a turd. Any team that spends big money on him after this season deserves the contempt of their fans.

I was listening to Mike & Mike in the Morning on ESPN980 a few days ago, and Mike Greenburg said something off-hand to Mike Golic that struck a cord with me; he was talking about pro football players who have to deal with losing, and he made the off-hand comment that most of them had always been on the best teams growing up, and that they were always on the best teams because they were always the best players, and their teams were good because they were good. You know what? That's almost always true in sports. Right up until players get to the professional level, they're always on good teams because they're good enough to make their teams good. In some cases, it's because they're much bigger than the other kids. In most cases, they're smarter and more athletic and harder workers and bigger. When they get to the professional level, the math is a little different because lousy teams usually get the first crack at the best players, so usually the best guys in college take a few seasons to win at the professional level because they're surrounded by a culture of losing. After a certain point, though, special players rise up and start winning with whatever is around them. That time has come and gone for Chris Bosh. That team has had any number of different identities in the time he's been there, and he hasn't been able to make a single one of them into a winner. If he's good enough to be mentioned with LeBron James and Dwayne Wade (guys who are also free-agents after this season and who actually have won with nothing around them), he would have won by now. He can't even get into the playoffs, for crying out loud. We're talking about a young 7-foot forward with athleticism and range here, not Allen Iverson (who also won with nothing). If Chris Bosh is a winner, if he's a centerpiece, if he's a superstar, if he's even an All-Star, he would have elevated that team at least to .500 by now. Instead, you've got a 6-8 basketball team that hasn't won a playoff series since he's been there, with what we're supposed to believe is a bona-fide superstar headliner as their centerpiece. No. Chris Bosh is a turd. I'd pay more for Aaron Brooks, I swear to God.


Now, for some quick NFL picks (I missed the Thanksgiving games, sue me):

Indianapolis @ Houston
The Line: Indianapolis by 3.5
Indy is due. On the other hand, Houston is doomed. Gotta go with the undefeated team. Can't pick against 'em till they lose.
Colts over Texans, 28-27

Cleveland @ Cincinnati
The Line: Cincinnati by 13
Whatever Cleveland's defense is able to do to slow Cincinnati's offense won't matter, because Cincy's D is going to devour Cleveland's offense. Plus, the Bengals should be good and pissed off this week.
Bengals over Browns, 24-9

Chicago @ Minnesota
The Line: Minnesota by 11
Vikings win! If this is a close game, I will very surprised.
Vikings over Bears, 34-17

Washington @ Philadelphia
The Line: Philadelphia by 10
You know what's great? For ten straight quarters of football, the Redskins have been playing like a team with nothing to lose. The coaches aren't quite there, but on the field, I really feel like the players are loose and are leaving it all out there on the field. They've got some swagger. As some dude on ESPN980 pointed out this week, if they play like this the rest of the way, they could win 2 or 3 games down the stretch. I'd take it.

You know what's horribly depressing? That the Redskins' season has come to this.

Philly ought to win comfortably. They beat the Redskins about as soundly as they've been beaten this season, in Washington, weeks ago. Would I be surprised if the Redskins dominate this game from start to finish, on both sides of the ball, and win by 10-13 points? Actually, no. The Eagles are notorious front-runners, and they're more likely to look past a struggling opponent than any other team in the NFL. That, and the Redskins have looked good on both sides of the ball for, like I said, 10 straight quarters of football.

Still, I'm picking the home team.
Eagles over Redskins, 23-17

Miami @ Buffalo
The Line: Miami by 3
Going with the favorite.
Dolphins over Bills, 24-13

Arizona @ Tennessee
The Line: Tennessee by 2
I have not been keeping up very well with NFL news this week. Is Kurt Warner healthy? If he is, and he plays, and he's not doing the whole "Kurt Warner post-concussion meltdown" thing, the Cardinals ought to win, just by gunning their way past Tennessee's still overrated secondary. If not, Tennessee rolls.

Ummmm, he'll probably play, right? Fuck it, I'm taking the Cardinals.
Cardinals over Titans, 28-24

Seattle @ St. Louis
The Line: Seattle by 4
Fuck these teams straight to hell.
Rams over Seahawks, 13-10

Tampa Bay @ Atlanta
The Line: Atlanta by 12
Falcons should cruise. We'll get a good look at the Tampa-2 under Raheem Morris this week.
Falcons over Bucs, 31-14

Carolina @ New York Jets
The Line: New York Jets by 3.5
Panthers win. Sanchez continues to flail.
Panthers over Jets, 20-17

Jacksonville @ San Francisco
The Line: San Francisco by 3
San Fran's formula for winning should have been so incredibly simple after they jumped out to that good start this season: pound the ball, limit turnovers, play aggressive defense, win every other game. They'd have won 9,10, or even 11 games that way. Instead, they started flailing around offensively and their defense went to shit. Why? Who knows. I know this much, though: fuck the 49ers.
Jaguars over 49ers, 23-21

Kansas City @ San Diego
The Line: San Diego by 13.5
Chargers win.
Chargers over Chiefs, 41-21

Pittsburgh @ Baltimore
The Line: Baltimore by 7.5
I don't have the first goddamn clue. Baltimore has to win. If Dennis Dixon leads the Steelers to victory over the Ravens in Baltimore, well, FUCK the Ravens.
Ravens over Steelers, 24-14

New England @ New Orleans
The Line: New Orleans by 2
There's one way for New Orleans to win this game: score a lot of points, play from ahead, and turn Tom Brady over at least once in the second half. If they are able to play from ahead, score often, and turn him over in the second half, they'll win.

I think they'll do it.
Saints over Patriots, 38-33

That's all I've got. I thought I had more, but I wrote this bitch over the course of like 6 days, and a lot came and went in that time. Ah well. Oh, right, I think I had a week 11 recap planned. Well fuck that.

Go Skynards!