The Ramblings of a Mad-Man!
I really think the Green Bay/Minnesota game comes down to turnovers. For whatever reason, I’m not ready to stick a fork in the Vikings just yet. They were a really tough team last year, and I believe in Brad Childress, so I expect them to play every opponent tough. This is a dome game, and Brett Favre has played poorly indoors for stretches of his career. The Vikings are a stout run defense with a good pass-rush, and because the Packers pose no threat on the ground, I imagine the Vikings will leave their safeties over the top and press Green Bay’s receivers to disrupt the quick passing game, knowing that Favre has been successful throwing short and playing conservative through 3 games. Though they rank just 11th in the NFL in total defense, the Vikings have been stuffing the run to the tune of just 67 ypg, and without a stud running back to challenge them, I expect the Packers to continue to use the shotgun spread formation as their base. Minnesota rang up 6 sacks and 2 interceptions against the woeful Falcons in week 1, when Joey Harrington was forced to throw 32 times, then 3 picks and 4 sacks against the pass-happy Lions in week 2, when Kitna and O’Sullivan combined to throw 56 times. In week 3 against the Chiefs, they had 1 sack and 0 interceptions, in no small part because the Chiefs pounded the ball 31 times to only 29 pass attempts. The blueprint is there for keeping the formidable Minnesota pass rush at bay, but the Packers simply do not have the weapons.
On the other hand, Minnesota will really struggle to pass the ball. The Vikings would be lucky to assemble much of an aerial attack against a good high-school squad, much less against an above-average NFL defense. Minnesota, too, will be looking to pound the ball, but will likewise be running into a very stout defensive front, one that held Brian Westbrook to 85 yards, the Giants to 94 yards, and Ladainian Tomlinson to 62 yards on 22 carries. If the Vikings are forced to throw the ball, which they likely will be, they could be in for a long night. Vikings quarterbacks have tossed 6 interceptions in 3 games, despite only attempting 89 passes, which puts them near the bottom of the league in attempts.
Then there’s the obvious: Green Bay is undefeated and has an all-time great veteran quarterback at the helm, while Minnesota is 1-2, has a huge question-mark at quarterback, and suffered a tough loss to the lowly Kansas City Chiefs last week. I picked Green Bay by 11 in Minnesota, I’m sticking by it.
Who knows how to call the awful match-up between Oakland and Miami? These are two pretty horrid teams, with anemic offenses and underperforming defenses. Neither team has gotten consistent play from the quarterback position, but Oakland has been able to generate a solid ground game, whereas Miami has only just started to get anything from Ronnie Brown, who racked up 200 yards of offense against the Jets. Miami hasn’t been able to stop the run, but their rush defense has improved each week since giving up 191 yards on the ground in week 1 against Washington. Oakland, on the other hand, has been up and down, holding Detroit to 108 rushing yards in week 1 and Cleveland to only 88 yards in week 3, sandwiched around 181 yards on the ground against Denver. I think this game comes down to field position, because I don’t think either team will be able to put together too many sustained drives. Oakland has 5 picks, 8 forced fumbles, and 9 sacks through 3 weeks, whereas Miami has 5 picks, 1 forced fumble and only 5 sacks. Oakland also leads the league in average kick return and has a score, and they are tied for second in the NFL is yards per punt. Their special teams play has been terrific. Lest we forget, Oakland ought to be 2-1 right now. Come to think of it, Lane Kiffin is a hell of a coach.
I picked Miami at home by 3. Now I’m not so sure. This would be a big win for Oakland, and they might have the stuff to pull it off.
There’s almost no reason to pick the Bills against the Jets. They’re missing three defensive starters and their quarterback, and they have really struggled on both sides of the ball this season. The only way I see them pulling this one off is if they play out of their minds on defense, win the turnover battle, get a big special teams play or a defensive touchdown, and keep Trent Edwards looking at short fields and third and short situations. The Jets have not been especially great in any facet of the game, but they played Baltimore tough and put up a lot of points in their win against Miami. I expect Thomas Jones to have another big game. I also think Marshawn Lynch could have a big game, especially after Ronnie Brown showed that a back that is involved in the passing game can have great success against the Jets. I would also think that, given the terrible start to their season, the Bills will pull out all the stops in this division home game. Lee Evans has struggled to get going; I’d expect them to go to the receiver screen in this game, or use other quick hitters to get him the ball early. I’d expect screen plays and shovel passes to Lynch, and I wouldn’t be shocked to see a few gadget plays. Jericho Cotchery has looked great for the Jets, and Pennington had a nice game against the Dolphins. I really think Chad is playing for his job each week at this point, but that’s not much of a change for him. He always seems to perform better when he’s looking over his shoulder, so I expect the Jets to take advantage of the opportunity to pick up a win and move back to .500 against a depleted opponent.
The Bills started the season with high hopes for their young team, and week after week their situation has looked worse and worse. I picked the Jets by 18 points, and I still think it’d take a great effort from the Bills to make it any closer.
I’m convinced the Houston at Atlanta match-up is one of the more difficult to call this week. Houston has played great through the first 3 weeks, but with their injuries on the offensive side of the ball, they are quickly becoming a below-average offensive team. On the other hand, the Falcons, still probably the worst team in the NFL, seem to be hitting their stride on offense. Joey Harrington put up big numbers last week against a fairly strong Panthers defense. This is such an important game for both teams. The Falcons have to be encouraged after they successfully moved the ball and scored on Sunday, and the Texans really need to rebound from their tough loss to Indianapolis. On paper, this would seem to be the perfect opponent for them to get healthy against. Atlanta has battled inconsistency on both sides of the ball, they’ve really struggled to protect the quarterback, and their highly touted running game has yet to really get it going. On the other hand, Houston has a banged up backfield, and Atlanta is the NFL’s 8th ranked pass defense. I think this one comes down to, of all things, the running game. I think Matt Schaub is really going to need the running game to keep the Falcons from throwing the kitchen sink at him. I think the same is true for Joey Harrington. Atlanta is 29th in the NFL with less than 90 ypg on the ground. There is probably an element of baloney to that statistic, in that Atlanta has been playing from behind in most of their games, but in order for them to win, I think they need to run the ball successfully. Because Kubiak is a mastermind of the running game and the Texans have enough of a consistent passing attack to discourage Atlanta from loading the box, I expect that Houston will be able to establish the ground game first. Despite his success against Carolina, I would still expect the Texans to take the approach of making Joey Harrington win the game with his arm.
The rest is simple: the Texans are 2-1, with a very solid showing against the reigning Super Bowl champs, and the Falcons are in relative disarray. I picked Houston by a touchdown, and I feel pretty good about it.
It’s entirely possible I crapped the bed with my Shikakka/Dett-roit pick. Maybe I was seduced by the fact that the Bears played in the Super Bowl last season. Perhaps I still can’t buy the idea of a Matt Millen-run, John Kitna-quarterbacked Detroit Lions team being pick-worthy, certainly not against the reigning NFC champions. When I look at it, I’m really having second thoughts, especially in Detroit. Frankly, I’m concerned the whole thing is a typo. This one will be decided by how Chicago performs. It’s strange to me to say that one knows what to expect from the Detroit Lions, but the Chicago Bears are the unknown, but I think it’s true. The Lions will throw the ball, early and often. They will not play great defense. There you have it. Chicago, on the other hand, is a bundle of unknowns. Will Brian Griese be able to move the ball through the air? Which Cedric Benson will show up? The guy who went for 2.2 yards per carry in week 1 and 2.9 yards per carry in week 3, or the other guy, who went for 101 yards and 4.2 yards per carry in week 2, against an otherwise stout Kansas City defense? Is this the same Bears defense from 2006, or is it the group that got shredded by Dallas on Monday Night Football, to the tune of 34 points? Detroit can really dial it up, and if the wrong Chicago group shows up, this could be a shoot-out, and it’s probable that Chicago doesn’t have the weapons to win a shoot-out. Chicago also has a number of big injuries on their defense, including Tommy Harris and Lance Briggs. On the other hand, this is Detroit we’re talking about. Boy did Philly get healthy last week against Detroit. McNabb went from washed up to President in two quarters. And lest we forget, the Bears were picked by many to win the NFC North and play for the NFC championship. I don’t know, this one’s tough. Like I said, I think it comes down to the Bears. I think they will come out running the ball and using short passes to move the ball, chew up clock, and get Griese into a rhythm. If they are successful, they could win. Defensively, I expect them to bring as much heat as possible on Jon Kitna, and see if they can’t coax J. T. O’Sullivan into the game. If they fail, look for big-time points from Detroit. Man, I don’t know.
I picked the Bears by 9 points. With Griese starting, I’m really starting to second-guess that pick. How much sense does that make? As if Grossman is so much better than Brian Griese, a former Pro Bowl player? How much of the Bears’ woes were the result of Grossman’s terrible play? Lovie Smith is a smart, successful coach who seems to get good play from his guys, but the magic failed him on Rex. Yikes, that Bears pick seems pretty fragile to me right now. Do I dare switch my pick, like a chump? Ahhhhh . . .crap. Yes, I’m switching it . . .yes . . .NO . . .no . . .yes . . . no . . .YES . . .YES!
No. Bears by 9. Now let it be.
Baltimore at Cleveland seems like a no-brainer. It probably is. If the game were in Baltimore, I’d say the Browns had no chance at all, and I don’t expect this one to be close. I think the trendy analysis is to suggest that the Ravens will need to solve their fourth-quarter defense or they could be in trouble. I do agree that the Ravens might want to look long and hard at the way they’ve performed in the final frame this season, but I don’t think the Browns are the team to make them pay. The Browns do, however, have a couple of real studs on their offense, and if this game goes bizarro, it will probably be because Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow go off against a somewhat suspect Baltimore secondary that gave up two scores in week 1, got torched by Jerricho Cotchery and gave up 260 passing yards and a score to Kellen Clemens in week 2, and then was absolutely shredded by Kurt Warner in the fourth quarter of week 3. Warner had an elite receiving corps to work with, as did Carson Palmer in week 1, but Clemens did not, and he was making his first NFL start. The Browns, in one man’s opinion, have two elite playmakers in Winslow and Edwards, so this could be a test. I expect the Ravens to bring a lot of pressure at Derek Anderson. The other interesting component of this game is the Jamal Lewis-versus-his-former-team angle, which might just yield something. In his career, Lewis has saved his best performances for his AFC North rivals, including his 216-yard bonanza against the Bengals in week 2, and he might know a thing or two about running against his former teammates. Cleveland now has enough balance on offense to produce points, but their defense is dismal, and Baltimore really needs a get healthy game. McGahee has yet to score this season, and he just hasn’t really gotten going. If he keeps up at this pace, he’ll finish with almost 1,500 yards, but he has yet to have a breakout performance. McNair has hardly been brilliant, and he’s banged up. The Cleveland defense is good medicine for what ails an NFL offense, and I would expect the Ravens to take advantage.
I picked them in a blow-out, by 25 points. While I still expect them to win easily, I could also see Cleveland putting more than 9 on the board. Eh, I’m happy with it.
If I were a schmuck, I would be would be really worried about the Rams at Cowboys game being the Obvious Game mentioned in Bill Simmons article. I am not worried about it. This is not the game for the Rams to be without Stephen Jackson for the first time this season. This is a team that has averaged less than 11 points a game with their stud runner, what the hell can they do without him? Isaac Bruce is a chump and is banged up, and Mark Bulger has been just awful. I can’t see this team competing in this game. With most teams, I’d give the coach a little credit, and be excited to see how he adjusted. I want to like Scott Linehan, but I suddenly have no confidence in him as a game-planner, and I imagine St. Louis fans feel about the same right now. If the Rams are to have any chance at all in this game, they’ll need a huge effort from Brian Leonard, and they’ll need Bulger to play like himself. They are going to need big plays. The only way they win this is if they score 40 or more points. The Rams have been capable of this in the past, so who knows? WHO? I know. It’s not going to happen.
‘Nuff said. I picked the Cowboys to win by 24 points, and I think the Rams will be lucky if the Cowboys stop there.
Of all the games I’m excited to watch, Tampa Bay at Carolina is right up there at the top. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like so little is known about who these teams truly are. That’s what this game is all about, who is the contender, who is the pretender? Which team actually has the tougher defense, or is either defense actually all that tough? Which team actually has the more explosive offense, or are these the same old crummy units from the past 3 years? The Panthers beat a lousy Falcons team on Sunday, despite the best efforts of Joey Harrington, without much help from Steve Smith, and with a big assist from DeAngelo Hall. They have gotten very little help from the rest of their receiving corps so far, and the running game has been very inconsistent. A shocker for me was in finding out that Carolina’s defense is ranked 25th in the NFL, 21st against the pass. Tampa Bay has gotten great play from their defense, but I still think they’re out-guts-ing and out-balls-ing their opponents, and they’re somehow better than the sum of their parts. I like that in a team, but it makes it hard to feel confident in their chances week to week. I definitely think this game comes down to a few unpredictable players giving solid, consistent performances. If Delhomme is accurate and smart and spreads the ball around, and Carolina gets the ground game going with some combination of DeShawn Foster and DeAngelo Williams, they will be tough to beat. If Tampa gets the same from Jeff Garcia, Cadillac Williams, and Ernest Graham, respectively, they too will be tough. Though the stats tell a different picture, I really think these defenses are a push. This should be a hard-nosed, smash-mouth game, and I think the team that takes the early lead will likely pull it off.
Here’s the issue: Delhomme will likely not play. That means David Muhfukkin Carr will get his chance for Carolina. To be perfectly honest, I never bought into the whole David Carr thing. When he was the super-hyped 1st overall pick from Fresno State, I cocked an eyebrow. He’s got a weird delivery. He doesn’t move like an athlete. He looks more like a model. I don’t think there’s a whole lot that makes him different, or better, than Joey Harrington. In fact, I like Harrington better as a quarterback! Eh, screw it.
I picked the Panthers by 4, and I think the home-field pushes them to that victory. The winner here is in the driver’s seat in the NFC South.
Man, I really bitched out on my Seattle/49ers pick. What the hell? I totally picked the Seahawks in a shoot-out because I need a big game from Matt Hasselbeck for my fantasy team to avoid oblivion. When I thought about it, it occurred to me that the Seahawks haven’t faced any tough defenses yet. Their own defense looks suspect. The 49ers need to rebound to stay above .500, and they’re playing at home, and it’s a division game. Sheesh. Seattle’s offense was average against Tampa in week 1. In week 2, they were average against Arizona. In week 3, against a defense that had given up 51 points to the friggin’ Browns, the Seahawks were just average. I think they’re one of the most overrated teams in all of football. The 49ers, on the other hand, have no offense. I don’t think there is any confidence in Alex Smith in San Francisco, and Frank Gore has been bottled up. San Francisco’s defense has also been suspect, ranking 19th in the NFL after three weeks, and now they’re going without Manny Lawson. What am I saying here? I’m saying this game will not be a shoot-out. These are two average offenses and two average defenses. Maybe Darrell Jackson gets it going this week for the 49ers, or Nate Burleson for the Sea-jacks. I think this game will be decided by the running backs. If Frank Gore can find some room and has a big night, the 49ers could win the big home game. If Shawn Alexander overcomes his broken wrist and continues to run effectively, the Seahawks will take it. Plus, Maurice Morris is probably back. Which coach do I trust to find a way to get his star tailback going? Gotta go with Mike Holmgren. Which quarterback do I trust to do enough to keep the defense from loading the box on every down? Matt Hasselbeck. Who did I pick to win the game?
I went with the Sea-jacks by 6 points. I’ll be fine.
I really can’t stand the Chiefs. I feel like they ruined the season a little bit by winning. What’s the point? This team isn’t going anywhere. They just finished rebuilding, and it’s rebuilding time again. On the other hand, there’s no pressure on them. They’re expected to be among the worst teams in the NFL, and they won’t disappoint. The Chargers look like they might be in real trouble. Good thing they play in a terrible division. I don’t see the Chargers losing this game, despite the ominous warnings of my brother, who is doing a hell of a lot better with his picks than I am. If the Chiefs are to have a chance in hell, they’ll need to come out loose, which they shouldn’t have a problem doing, and they will need a good performance from Larry Johnson. This ought to be the thrilling match-up of marquee running backs, not two guys who have combined for fewer rushing yards than Derrick Ward of the Giants. The Chiefs won on Sunday by running a lot, passing less, and playing stout defense. That’s their formula, right there. If they can run and control the clock, they can hang in there. For the Chargers, they just need to do what people expect them to do. They need to run successfully and often, they need to get the ball to Antonio Gates, they need Philip Rivers to be efficient, and they need to stuff the run with their 3-4. That should be no problem for this team. Norv is taking a lot of crap, but in a way, the loss to Green Bay may have been a blessing for him. The shaky 1-2 start means these players ought to be ready to annihilate the Chiefs, whether or not Norv is capable of giving a stirring motivational speech. Rivers has been effective enough to win, getting the ball to his playmakers and completing 70% of his passes. Gates has been sensational. In their win against the Bears in week 1, they put the ball in LT’s hands only 25 times, including his touchdown toss. In their blowout loss to the Chargers, LT touched it only 22 times. Also, the Pats cheated, I have evidence. In week 3, LT again only had 25 touches. That’s not enough! I would expect LT to get a heavy workload in this game. No fewer than 25 rushes, at least 5 targets. If so, the Chargers win easily. The Chargers need a win more than any team in the NFL, and under those circumstances, how could they NOT lean on their stud? The Chiefs will try the same thing, but they have almost no complimentary pieces. Dwayne Bowe is a good player, though.
I picked the Chargers by 99 points. Is that wrong? We’ll see. I feel confident they’ll get the win. If they don’t, there will be MAJOR fireworks in San Diego. If you thought Sunday was scary, with the sideline confrontation and LT’s press conference, just wait till they drop their third straight game, at home, to the Chiefs, and are tied for last in their terrible division a quarter of the way through the regular season. Still, I feel pretty confident that won’t happen. They’ll get the win.
I think we’ll go Fantasy Spin for the Cardinals/Steelers match-up. Sit Leinart. Sit Edge. Play Boldin and Fitzgerald. Sit Arizona’s defense. Play Roethlisberger. Play Willie Parker, unless you’re an asshole. Sit Hines Ward, he’s hurt. Play Santonio Holmes. Play Heath Miller, damn it. Play the Steelers defense. Play Najeh Davneport, if you’ve got him. By the way, if you’ve got Najeh Davenport, you are a smart person, and deserve a pat on the back. The Cardinals are a talented team with elite receivers. I honestly think this is the biggest test so far for the Steelers, and I think they’ll respond by bringing a ton of heat after Matt Leinart. If either Zona quarterback has time to set and throw in rhythm, the Cardinals can be very dangerous. Pittsburgh’s secondary has not been tested this season, and this is it. I don’t think there’s much the Cards will be able to do to slow down Pittsburgh’s offense. Willie Parker looks pretty unstoppable right now, leading the league in carries and yards and getting five yards a carry. Though the Steelers might have to go without Hines “Field” Ward, their offense looks too in sync for that to matter too much. In one man’s opinion, this one comes down to whether the Cardinals can get their passing game going early and keep this one close. I don’t know, I like the Cardinals a lot, but I just don’t see them pulling this off. I really REALLY like the Steelers. What a balanced group.
Somehow, I figured the Steelers would take this one by 18 points. It’s hard to know where I get this crap from. I’m still confident the Steelers will come away victorious, but 18 points? We’ll see.
Denver at Indianapolis is one of those games that wants to be close. Screw that bullshit. The Broncos are a bunch of posers. They friggin’ stole a victory from an otherwise hapless Bills team. They TRULY stole a victory from Oakland . . .weak, wack, baloney-filled Oakland. Then they got their asses handed to them by a Jacksonville team that is severely handicapped by their head coach. That’s right, I said it. Jack Del Rio is a liability to his franchise. And a hoser. Booyah. Denver has run the ball pretty well this season, Travis Henry is 4th in the NFL in rushing yards. Denver is 8th in the league in rushing. That’s to be expected from Shanahan’s bunch, and the team is 6th in total offense, but they’re only getting 17 points a game, good for 23rd. A good amount of that is probably due to having a super-duper young quarterback out there. I like Cutler. But I don’t think he has what it takes to overcome the Indy defense. Want a scary statistic? Bob Sanders is 10th in the NFL in sacks. I fully expect him to get another in this game. He showed tremendous timing and instincts on his rushes against the Titans, and I think there’s a great chance he’ll be used in that capacity against Denver because Cutler is a decent runner. Elvis Dumervile has been tearing it up for the Bronks, with 4 sacks, a pick, and a forced fumble. This guy was this shit in college, he’s still the shit. He’s Dwight Freeney Light. A true baller.
Don’t fall for the friggin’ hype. Denver can’t hang with Indianapolis, especially not in the RCA dome. But boy do I need Brandon Marshall to have a big game. I picked the Colts by some absurd amount. Hold on, I’m scrolling . . .wait, only 12 points? Well, at least I picked the right team.
I knee-jerked the Eagles in a truly emotional pick. I’m not ashamed. I’m now really worried that Brian Westbrook won’t be full speed in this game. In my opinion, that will decide the game. Westbrook, Villanova’s finest, might be the best player in the NFL. No really. If he plays at full speed, they will win. He’s in a different class of player, and the Giants don’t have anything in his league, not even close. He makes the Eagles a special team. He’s 5th in the league in rushing and getting nearly 6 yards per carry. He’s also 25th in the NFL in receiving, and I don’t think he’s even gotten started yet. If Brian Westbrook plays at full speed, the Eagles will always beat crappy, second-class, dysfunctional road-kill teams coached by losers like Tom Coughlin. In truth, the Eagles have played 3 teams who are a combined 7-2, lost their two games by a combined 12 points, and were playing with their all-world MVP quarterback sporting a knee-brace and clearly shaking off the rust. He lost the brace and ran like Forrest Gump in week 3, and delivered an epic on-shitting of a previously unbeaten team.
If Plaxico Burress were full-speed, I’d give the Giants a chance. You know what? They still have a chance. Shockey, for all his bullshit, is still a great talent. Derrick Ward has been solid. Toomer is still a useful target. I still believe in Eli Manning. They’ve got the home field advantage. These NFC East games are so hard to call. Who would have picked the Skynards to win in Philly in week 2? Who picked the Giants to win in Washington in week 3? It’s never about one team playing up to the challenge. It’s usually all about both teams knowing the other one’s strategy inside out, neither coach having the balls to make adjustments, and a coin-flip and momentum wins the day. All that being said, I think the Eagles have found their groove, I think the Giants are a mess, and I feel pretty good taking the road team in this one.
I picked the Beagles by 11 in a high-scoring game, and I’m sticking with it. Neither defense has been terrific, but boy can the Eagles still put pressure on a passer, as they did against the Lions, sacking Kitna 9 times. On the other hand, Kitna did throw for 446 yards and two scores. Oh god. What am I saying? Stick with the Eagles, buddy boy . . .
And finally we come to it, the big Monday nighter. We’re going to learn a lot about the Bengals in this one. Especially now that Rudi is out. They need a monster performance from their dreadful defense. They need another lights out game from Carson Palmer. They need their big-time competitors, Ocho Cinco and Hoash-Mazode, to light it up, and I think they need a big assist from the home fans. They probably need a win here as badly as anyone but the Chargers. The AFC North is way too tough to play catch-up the rest of the way. Here’s the thing: there are a bunch of teams that will play the Patriots this year that would gladly take the Bengals roster, even without Rudi Johnson, over their own. The Bengals are an explosive bunch. But they did gift wrap a game for Seattle last week. They also are responsible for the season’s biggest pants-crapping, in their loss to the Browns. The encouraging news is they showed up and topped a good Baltimore squad in week 1. Maybe they’re just playing to their competition. I joked that they might be better off putting Chad and T.J. on defense for this game. I’m not sure that’s such a bad idea. They can’t feel too great about their chances of stopping a pretty breathtaking aerial assault from New England, not when Derek Anderson tore them a new one. Maybe this is a statement game for Marvin Lewis, who is exactly a 1-3 start away from being all the way on the hot-seat going into their bye. I guess I’m trying to come up with a reason to think the Bengals can win this game, but I don’t feel real good about their chances. I’ll be real happy if they pull it off, but the Patriots are getting to the point where I’d be more shocked to see them lose any one game than I would if be if they finished 19-0. Isn’t that weird?
It’s because they fuckin’ CHEAT! No integrity-having son-of-a-bitches. I had them once again putting up 38 points, but I also had Cincy dropping 31 on ‘em. That was before I knew Rudi was out. I still like Pats, duh, but maybe we can reverse that 31. It’d be so special if the Bengals scored 14. At what point would that become truly eerie?
Friday, September 28, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
As Promised, Another Week of Humiliation!
Take a gander at these humdingers (now with Updates!):
Green Bay @ Minnesota
Wouldn't it be funny to suggest that this one depends on who the Vikings start at quarterback? Let's see; if they go with the crappy old turd who has never been that good in the first place . . .they'll probably lose. If they start the second-year guy who runs real fast but can't distinguish between teammates and opponents . . .no, I don't like the looks of that either. Well, there's always Brooks Bollinger! Yeah right, it'll have to be the Adrian Peterson show. Chester Taylor is healthy and should play. Don't all run out to the fantasy waiver-wire at once. Can the Packers go 4-0?
Not if I pick 'em.
Packers over Vikings, 17-6
Oakland @ Miami
A couple of times a year you have a real stinker like this one. I suggest no one tune in, maybe the networks will switch to infomercials or some other such superior programming. It's in Miami, and that's really a lot of traveling for the Raiders, so . . .
Dolphins over Raiders, 16-13 I hate picking this kind of game. Its a crapshoot.
NY Jets @ Buffalo
If the Jets win enough of these contests against flat, sucky, hopeless teams, Pennington might hang around for another year, the Jets fans might convince themselves they have a competitive team, and people will continue to call Eric Mangini "Mangenius" instead of "Mangina", which is really a much better nickname. I can't wait for a sportscaster to slip up and utter that one. You know it's coming.
Jets over Bills, 28-10
Houston @ Atlanta
I'm rather excited about the Texans. Matt Schaub looks like a great pick-up, and Kubiak seems to be pushing all the right buttons. Joey Harrington is basically playing week to week at this point. He had a hell of a game on Sunday. He'll probably shit blood in this one. It's too much to ask for him to have two good games in a row. It would be a major setback if the Texans failed to rebound from their tough loss to the Colts.
Texans over Falcons, 24-17
Chicago @ Detroit
I'm not too sure about this one. Its a divisional contest, plus its in Detroit, and I actually think the Lions might be the superior team. On the other hand, I did go 6-10 last week, and I'm in last place in my fantasy league, sitting 600 points behind the next guy up and 1,400 points from the leader. Jesus Effing Christ.
Bears over Lions, 26-17 What the hell. Where did I get 26 points from? Who knows anymore? The whole world has been turned on it's ear.
Update 9/27: After a few days to consider the ramifications of the Brian Griese call, I'm now no longer confident in this pick. I really, really want to change it, but I'm not going to. Just know that I really, really wanted to.
Baltimore @ Cleveland
The Browns might actually be figuring things out a little bit. Derek Anderson didn't shoot his team in the foot TOO bad on Sunday, but they did lose to the Raiders. Is it obvious I'm suffering a crisis of confidence? Holy balls. Baltimore needs the win, and this could be a get healthy game for them, after eeking out a victory against Kurt Warner. Ah hell with it . . .
Ravens over Browns, 34-9 I know what you're thinking; that's an absurd score. How the hell will the Browns have 3 scoring drives? Or am I thinking safety?
St. Louis @ Dallas
This one has all the trappings of a man-raping. St. Louis is going without Stephen Jackson. Do they have the balls to compete without their engine? Hell no. Never have. Dallas, on the other hand, just gave the business to the Bears, and they have the most hideous fans in the world. What does that have to do with anything? It means I'm reluctant to pick the goddamn Cowboys.
Cowboys over Rams, 38-14 Man, the Rams are in sorry shape. They had real playoff aspirations.
Tampa Bay @ Carolina
Goooo Panthers! It was encouraging to see Carolina get a win with very little production from Steve Smith. His biggest contribution was in somehow getting under D'Angelo Hall's skin. What the hell was that all about? Hall imploded, and he took his team with him. Seriously, the Falcons ought to fine him and sit him. They aren't winning shit anyway, might as well send a message. That was easily as bad as Milton Bradley blowing out his ACL while bitching at an umpire, if for no other reason than that Major League Baseball is a bunch of bullshit and the NFL is infinitely superior, so minor things that happen in the NFL are as significant as major things that happen in MLB. Kiss my ass, baseball.
Panthers over Bucs, 20-16 By calling a bunch of close games, I look like less of a moron when I choose the wrong team. "Hey, like I said, it could have gone either way . . ." What a devout coward I am.
Seattle @ San Francisco
As much as I like the new 49ers, I'm taking the Sea-jacks. Why? WHY? Because I need Matt Hasselbeck to throw a bunch of touchdowns! Something that just happened made me think of the rant by Oklahoma State's coach yesterday. What was that all about? I love a good coach-rant, but does he need to paint his face orange to pull it off? Wait. . .what? He didn't paint his face? Wow, even better.
Seahawks over 49ers, 27-21
Update 9/27: You know, the Sea-jacks haven't really faced any super tough defenses yet, and the 49ers are a tough, competitive bunch with a few real playmakers. I'm having second thoughts here . . .
Kansas City @ San Diego
I'd like to revisit a point I made last week; if the Chargers can't rebound from the devestating loss on Sunday and beat an inferior team in a must-win situation, they have no balls, and Norv Turner won't finish the year. Here you go, Norv, the biggest cupcake of all. CBS should PIP the coaches at all times on this one, wouldn't that be something? If the Chiefs win this game, someone will say something nice about Herm Edwards, and that can't happen. Someone in Kansas City will use the word "playoffs". Oh my god.
Chargers over Chiefs, 100-1 Well why the fuck not? Oh right, 1 point is impossible. Keep the spread, though.
Pittsburgh @ Arizona
Wait, didn't this game just happen? No, seriously. Didn't the Steelers just take on the upstart young team from the NFC West? Didn't they just feast on the exciting young quarterback? Yes, in fact they did. And I'd expect the same result in this one. Wisenhunt has got to stick with Leinart, though. I know they're trying to win games, and sometimes the young guy doesn't give you the best chance to win, but Leinart is the future of this franchise, not Kurt Warner, and as much as it sucks for Zona fans, the Cardinals are still playing for the future, not the present.
Steelers over Cardinals, 31-13 That's not a close score. That has "asshole" written all over it. You've got to have balls in this world. Big, throbbing, manly balls that drag around on the floor behind you.
Update 9/27: Are the Steelers due for a loss, on the road? Aren't the Cardinals a talented team that nearly took down Baltimore last Sunday? The Steelers haven't really been tested yet, have they?
Denver @ Indianapolis
Looks like I picked up Brandon Marshall just in time for his team to get flattened in the RCA Dome. Yay. On the other hand, the Broncos are 2-1 and atop their terrible, terrible division, and the Colts haven't exactly blown out their last two opponents. Either that means they're weak, or they're due to have a shite all over someone. I'll take the latter.
Colts over Broncos, 28-16
Philadelphia @ NY Giants
Man, I hate the Giants. Now more than ever. I can't friggin' stand Tom Coughlin, and I hate the idea that the Redskins enabled this piece of crap. I hope the Eagles hang another "50 burger" on them. I really think the Eagles are coming around. I hate to pick another road team after my stunning, Atlanta Falconian effort from week 3, but . . .
Eagles over Giants, 35-24 Man is that ever an emotional pick. I'll be eating out of the toilet on that one. The second I finished typing it, I knew it was doomed for failure. Well, as I was saying about balls . . .
Update 9/27: I have to at least concede that the Giants might win this game. They have tools. I can't stand the idea of a 2-2 Giants team, with those two wins coming in the NFC East, so I'm sticking with the Eagles. For my money, this is the game to watch on Sunday.
New England @ Cincinnati
The Bengals are desperate for a win. Who better for them to be facing than the juggernaut of the NFL, on Monday night, no less? Something tells me this one'll be a laugher. Do I dare keep the 38 point streak alive? I do. I can't believe I'm about to pick another road team. What the hell is going on here? The Bengals defense has been downright awful against the pass all year, and that is exactly where the Pats are going nuts. This should be a really fun game if the Bengals get it going.
Patriots over Bengals, 38-31 I'll be rooting for the Bengals, so for a second Monday night in a row, I'll be that asshole that takes victory from defeat no matter who wins the game. What a prick bastard.
Thank god the Skynards are off this Sunday. I'm so pissed over their revolting second half against the Giants I'm ready to fire the whole team. I need the Eagles to get revenge this Sunday.
Green Bay @ Minnesota
Wouldn't it be funny to suggest that this one depends on who the Vikings start at quarterback? Let's see; if they go with the crappy old turd who has never been that good in the first place . . .they'll probably lose. If they start the second-year guy who runs real fast but can't distinguish between teammates and opponents . . .no, I don't like the looks of that either. Well, there's always Brooks Bollinger! Yeah right, it'll have to be the Adrian Peterson show. Chester Taylor is healthy and should play. Don't all run out to the fantasy waiver-wire at once. Can the Packers go 4-0?
Not if I pick 'em.
Packers over Vikings, 17-6
Oakland @ Miami
A couple of times a year you have a real stinker like this one. I suggest no one tune in, maybe the networks will switch to infomercials or some other such superior programming. It's in Miami, and that's really a lot of traveling for the Raiders, so . . .
Dolphins over Raiders, 16-13 I hate picking this kind of game. Its a crapshoot.
NY Jets @ Buffalo
If the Jets win enough of these contests against flat, sucky, hopeless teams, Pennington might hang around for another year, the Jets fans might convince themselves they have a competitive team, and people will continue to call Eric Mangini "Mangenius" instead of "Mangina", which is really a much better nickname. I can't wait for a sportscaster to slip up and utter that one. You know it's coming.
Jets over Bills, 28-10
Houston @ Atlanta
I'm rather excited about the Texans. Matt Schaub looks like a great pick-up, and Kubiak seems to be pushing all the right buttons. Joey Harrington is basically playing week to week at this point. He had a hell of a game on Sunday. He'll probably shit blood in this one. It's too much to ask for him to have two good games in a row. It would be a major setback if the Texans failed to rebound from their tough loss to the Colts.
Texans over Falcons, 24-17
Chicago @ Detroit
I'm not too sure about this one. Its a divisional contest, plus its in Detroit, and I actually think the Lions might be the superior team. On the other hand, I did go 6-10 last week, and I'm in last place in my fantasy league, sitting 600 points behind the next guy up and 1,400 points from the leader. Jesus Effing Christ.
Bears over Lions, 26-17 What the hell. Where did I get 26 points from? Who knows anymore? The whole world has been turned on it's ear.
Update 9/27: After a few days to consider the ramifications of the Brian Griese call, I'm now no longer confident in this pick. I really, really want to change it, but I'm not going to. Just know that I really, really wanted to.
Baltimore @ Cleveland
The Browns might actually be figuring things out a little bit. Derek Anderson didn't shoot his team in the foot TOO bad on Sunday, but they did lose to the Raiders. Is it obvious I'm suffering a crisis of confidence? Holy balls. Baltimore needs the win, and this could be a get healthy game for them, after eeking out a victory against Kurt Warner. Ah hell with it . . .
Ravens over Browns, 34-9 I know what you're thinking; that's an absurd score. How the hell will the Browns have 3 scoring drives? Or am I thinking safety?
St. Louis @ Dallas
This one has all the trappings of a man-raping. St. Louis is going without Stephen Jackson. Do they have the balls to compete without their engine? Hell no. Never have. Dallas, on the other hand, just gave the business to the Bears, and they have the most hideous fans in the world. What does that have to do with anything? It means I'm reluctant to pick the goddamn Cowboys.
Cowboys over Rams, 38-14 Man, the Rams are in sorry shape. They had real playoff aspirations.
Tampa Bay @ Carolina
Goooo Panthers! It was encouraging to see Carolina get a win with very little production from Steve Smith. His biggest contribution was in somehow getting under D'Angelo Hall's skin. What the hell was that all about? Hall imploded, and he took his team with him. Seriously, the Falcons ought to fine him and sit him. They aren't winning shit anyway, might as well send a message. That was easily as bad as Milton Bradley blowing out his ACL while bitching at an umpire, if for no other reason than that Major League Baseball is a bunch of bullshit and the NFL is infinitely superior, so minor things that happen in the NFL are as significant as major things that happen in MLB. Kiss my ass, baseball.
Panthers over Bucs, 20-16 By calling a bunch of close games, I look like less of a moron when I choose the wrong team. "Hey, like I said, it could have gone either way . . ." What a devout coward I am.
Seattle @ San Francisco
As much as I like the new 49ers, I'm taking the Sea-jacks. Why? WHY? Because I need Matt Hasselbeck to throw a bunch of touchdowns! Something that just happened made me think of the rant by Oklahoma State's coach yesterday. What was that all about? I love a good coach-rant, but does he need to paint his face orange to pull it off? Wait. . .what? He didn't paint his face? Wow, even better.
Seahawks over 49ers, 27-21
Update 9/27: You know, the Sea-jacks haven't really faced any super tough defenses yet, and the 49ers are a tough, competitive bunch with a few real playmakers. I'm having second thoughts here . . .
Kansas City @ San Diego
I'd like to revisit a point I made last week; if the Chargers can't rebound from the devestating loss on Sunday and beat an inferior team in a must-win situation, they have no balls, and Norv Turner won't finish the year. Here you go, Norv, the biggest cupcake of all. CBS should PIP the coaches at all times on this one, wouldn't that be something? If the Chiefs win this game, someone will say something nice about Herm Edwards, and that can't happen. Someone in Kansas City will use the word "playoffs". Oh my god.
Chargers over Chiefs, 100-1 Well why the fuck not? Oh right, 1 point is impossible. Keep the spread, though.
Pittsburgh @ Arizona
Wait, didn't this game just happen? No, seriously. Didn't the Steelers just take on the upstart young team from the NFC West? Didn't they just feast on the exciting young quarterback? Yes, in fact they did. And I'd expect the same result in this one. Wisenhunt has got to stick with Leinart, though. I know they're trying to win games, and sometimes the young guy doesn't give you the best chance to win, but Leinart is the future of this franchise, not Kurt Warner, and as much as it sucks for Zona fans, the Cardinals are still playing for the future, not the present.
Steelers over Cardinals, 31-13 That's not a close score. That has "asshole" written all over it. You've got to have balls in this world. Big, throbbing, manly balls that drag around on the floor behind you.
Update 9/27: Are the Steelers due for a loss, on the road? Aren't the Cardinals a talented team that nearly took down Baltimore last Sunday? The Steelers haven't really been tested yet, have they?
Denver @ Indianapolis
Looks like I picked up Brandon Marshall just in time for his team to get flattened in the RCA Dome. Yay. On the other hand, the Broncos are 2-1 and atop their terrible, terrible division, and the Colts haven't exactly blown out their last two opponents. Either that means they're weak, or they're due to have a shite all over someone. I'll take the latter.
Colts over Broncos, 28-16
Philadelphia @ NY Giants
Man, I hate the Giants. Now more than ever. I can't friggin' stand Tom Coughlin, and I hate the idea that the Redskins enabled this piece of crap. I hope the Eagles hang another "50 burger" on them. I really think the Eagles are coming around. I hate to pick another road team after my stunning, Atlanta Falconian effort from week 3, but . . .
Eagles over Giants, 35-24 Man is that ever an emotional pick. I'll be eating out of the toilet on that one. The second I finished typing it, I knew it was doomed for failure. Well, as I was saying about balls . . .
Update 9/27: I have to at least concede that the Giants might win this game. They have tools. I can't stand the idea of a 2-2 Giants team, with those two wins coming in the NFC East, so I'm sticking with the Eagles. For my money, this is the game to watch on Sunday.
New England @ Cincinnati
The Bengals are desperate for a win. Who better for them to be facing than the juggernaut of the NFL, on Monday night, no less? Something tells me this one'll be a laugher. Do I dare keep the 38 point streak alive? I do. I can't believe I'm about to pick another road team. What the hell is going on here? The Bengals defense has been downright awful against the pass all year, and that is exactly where the Pats are going nuts. This should be a really fun game if the Bengals get it going.
Patriots over Bengals, 38-31 I'll be rooting for the Bengals, so for a second Monday night in a row, I'll be that asshole that takes victory from defeat no matter who wins the game. What a prick bastard.
Thank god the Skynards are off this Sunday. I'm so pissed over their revolting second half against the Giants I'm ready to fire the whole team. I need the Eagles to get revenge this Sunday.
Tell Me All Your Thoughts on Blog
A few observations from the NFL:
1. Drew Brees is playing terribly. Watching the Saints on MNF, I was pretty shocked by his performance. The 3rd interception was the result of his arm getting knocked as he released the ball, and the 4th was a deflection off his receiver's chest, but he played an awful game. He had happy feet in the pocket all game, he was never set to throw. He had one or two completions downfield, but even those were off-balance throws into coverage and his receivers bailed him out. Honestly, his performance was indistinguishable from that of Rex Grossman Sunday night, except that I think the Cowboys are a better defensive team than the Titans, and there's no way Grossman has the options that Brees has. He just looked awful. I think the Saints are in big big trouble, and I'm not talking about the three losses. They might not win 5 games this year. On a positive note, Reggie Bush looked great in goal-line situations. He was too quick to the edge for the Titans on the first score, and then went right up the gut on the second one. If only he were that decisive on all his runs.
2. This is the only thing I'll say about the Donovan McNabb thing: Why has there never been a black US President? Why has there never been a black Vice President? Why are there so few black senators and representatives? Why are there so few black head coaches in the NCAA? The NFL? MLB? The NBA? Why are there so few black quarterbacks, in a league that is dominated by black athletes? I'm not saying we live in a racist nation, but you're a fucking liar and an idiot if you don't acknowledge the presence of racism and prejudice against blacks in our society. Of COURSE black quarterbacks are subjected to pressures and criticism that their white counterparts aren't faced with. Who would suggest that there aren't any players in the NFL who still don't believe a black quarterback can succeed? Or any coaches? Or any scouts? Or any members of the media? Or any fans? Don't be ridiculous. Look at Daunte Culpepper's career numbers. Or Donovan McNabb's. Or Byron Leftwich's. There's very little chance that these guys would have faced the same questions about their careers if they were white. In 1999, Culpepper threw for almost 4,000 yards with 33 touchdowns and 16 picks, and a 98 quarterback rating. In 2004, 4,700 yards with 39 touchdowns and 11 picks, with a 111 quarterback rating. Then he hurt his leg in 2005, and two years later, he's on the bench behind Josh McCown on a last place team, playing on a 1 year contract. This is a guy who took his team to the NFC championship, a quarterback with a career 90.9 passer rating who ought to be in his prime. I'm sorry, but if anybody can find me a white quarterback with anything like a similar story, please let me know. I'm NOT saying the NFL on the whole is a racist league, not at all. I am saying that Donovan McNabb was right, and he wasn't even making a point. He was stating the obvious. We don't live in a perfect society, there is still racism, and once we acknowledge that, then we must understand that there are no corners of society, no nooks, no jobs or positions where blacks aren't faced with challenges that their white counterparts are free of. Ok, that's all I'll ever say about the whole McNabb thing.
3. I'm sick of Joe Gibbs. I'd like to give the man a lot of credit for what he's done for the Redskins, and I'm not talking about his previous tenure. The Redskins have been one of the most mis-managed franchises in all of sports for the last 15 years. In his time back with the team, he has assembled a top-notch coaching staff, compiled a roster of solid pros, drafted extremely well, fielded a competitive team, and helped the franchise dig their way out of a deep salary cap hole. But he can't coach a game anymore. The Skins are a horribly conservative team. They never go out to really dominate a game and run away from teams. They try to plod their way down field and sneak into the endzone, and then they immediately retreat and try to bury their lead like squirrels. The Eagles put up 56 points on Sunday. In the 4th quarter of a blow-out win last week, the Patriots ran off-tackle on 4th and goal to put the cherry on top of a dominating performance against the Chargers. Great NFL teams don't make it look hard, they make it look easy. The Redskins don't look like a great NFL team, they look like a hard-working NFL team. Jason Campbell has a huge arm and great mobility. Santana Moss and Anwan Randle El are two of the fastest receivers out there. Clinton Portis is far more effective playing in space. Even Brandon Lloyd, who has been labeled a free-agent bust, is an explosive deep threat. Al Saunders' offense is designed to create mismatches by putting his playmakers in the open field and spreading the ball around. Gibbs is the wet blanket on what ought to be an explosive, wide open offense. Look, I love the concept of a punishing ground game as much as anybody, but when you have the players to take shots down field and open things up, you have to do it. The Redskins took their collective foot off the throttle in all phases of their loss on Sunday. They stopped blitzing on third down and Eli picked their secondary to pieces. They stopped taking shots down the field and couldn't back the Giants defense out of the box, and the result was long third-downs and too many three and outs. I don't even know where to start regarding the last four downs. My point here is this: the Redskins really need to open up the playbook and put points on the board, and if Joe Gibbs is the guy who insists on the anemic, cautious approach on both ends, well . . .
4. The following coaches are crap, and should be replaced:
1. Tom Coughlin
2. Jack Del Rio
3. Herm Edwards
4. Norv Turner
I'm holding out on Marvin Lewis, but just barely.
Coughlin is a joke. I can't believe they ever re-signed this guy. Frankly, I was appalled when they hired him in the first place. What a total cry-baby this guy is on the sidelines. The Giants SCREAM mutiny. They are a few more losses away from a major blow-up or some sort of media showdown.
I friggin' hate Jack Del Rio. He totally sold Byron Leftwich out. On the other hand, his teams do compete. I hope they go down in flames so he can get shit-canned.
Herm Edwards is flat-out the worst coach in the NFL, by a wide margin. I was a big fan of his when he took over in New Jersey. My brother started in with the whole "Herm Edwards is a terrible game-day coach" bit, and I pretty much dismissed that idea. When he got the job in Kansas City, I was optimistic. But man, when you watch him on the sidelines, he is just so clueless. I wonder how anybody on the Chiefs DOESN'T give up the moment things start to go poorly. Herm has no idea what he's doing over there! He just shakes his head and stares off into the distance!
Norv Turner . . .jeez. I like Norv. I even liked him here in Washington. But he can't be a head coach. The Chargers have no balls at all. The Redskins had no balls when he was here. His teams have no balls. They play like they don't know how to win, and they collapse when they aren't having success. This is going to be the final nail in his career as a head coach. This Chargers team is in big trouble, I would not be shocked if both he and A. J. Smith are gone by midseason. The biggest two scares were the exchange between LT and Rivers on the sideline, and then LT at the podium. He didn't sound like a guy who was disappointed by a couple of consecutive losses; he sounded like a guy who sees the team headed in the wrong direction.
5. The following coaches are great, and should be extended:
1. Jeff Fisher
2. Ken Wisenhunt
3. Mike Nolan
4. Mike McCarthy
5. Mike Tomlin
6. Gary Kubiak
There are a few other great head coaches, but they're the really obvious ones.
Jeff Fisher was extended. He's been with the Titans for 14 years now, has won more than he's lost in the regular season and post-season, and is the rare coach that guides his team through a rebuilding phase. His teams ALWAYS play hard. I'd say the only blemishes on his career are the signing of Kerry Collins and the handling of the departure of McNair, but those are small blemishes. They even survived an epic salary cap disaster that led to their rebuilding in the first place, and here they are, looking for all the world like a playoff team after a thumping of New Orleans on the road Monday night. When you have a good coach who you believe in, you keep him around. You don't just change for the sake of change.
I have to give it to Wisenhunt. I was really disturbed to see that he'd turned to Kurt Warner twice in the game against the Ravens. Normally, that's the type of move that drives me crazy. But they came back and nearly got the victory, and in the end, it was his willingness to make a move that kept them in the game. The Cardinals are a talented, explosive team that ought to be 2-1, and though they're just 1-2, it's rare that you can look at a coaching decision and know definitively that it improved the team's chances of winning.
Mike Nolan just looks and acts like a head coach, and he's turned a totally lost and awful franchise into a team that expects to win and is expected to win. They draft beautifully and put their players in position to make plays. I couldn't stand this guy when he was the Redskins defensive coordinator, but I've become a believer. The 49ers are really competitive, and I expect them to be a playoff team this year.
Mike McCarthy is the head coach of the 3-0 Packers. McCarthy was brought in to lead the rebuilding effort, to coach Aaron Rodgers, to work with a young team and build a competitor. Then he got stuck with Brett Favre, and his expectation changed. Instead of building for the future, he needed to win in the small window he had left with his aging superstar. The Packers are winning, Favre is playing smart, efficient football, and the young players on the roster are making big contributions. All that without a running game. I expect them to target a back in the 08 draft. McCarthy ought to have a long future with a franchise that has been extremely loyal to their coaches.
The Steelers are one of the best teams in the NFL, right up there with the Patriots. I have the Steelers ahead of the Colts. They are perhaps the most balanced offense in football, and their defense has been dominant. At this point, I'd say they have the best chance of challenging the Patriots in the AFC Championship. Tomlin has to get some of the credit. The blueprint was laid out by Cowher, and the roster is full of great picks and free-agent signings, but as we are witnessing with Norv Turner, that doesn't necessarily lead to success. Tomlin has the Steelers playing excellent football, and this is another franchise that trusts their coaches and sticks with them.
If the Texans win 7 games this year, Kubiak will have earned a big-time extension. This is another case of a team that expects to compete and win, and that's really saying something when you consider that the team has never had any measure of success. Kubiak has a history of coaching successful teams, so it's not a shock that he's brought a winning attitude to the Texans. The AFC South is a really tough division, and they've been hit by the injury bug, big-time, but Kubiak seems to have changed the attitude of the franchise, and the fact that they stayed in there against the Colts, without their best playmaker in Andre Johnson, tells me that they are a serious, competitive team.
6. I took a shit-bath on my picks in Week 3, to the tune of 6-10. Among my biggest disappointments:
-I picked the Rams in a blowout. What the hell? The Rams are in big trouble. I was seduced by their history of scoring lots of points. Stephen Jackson is out at least a week. Isaac Bruce is officially a chump, albeit one who is killing my fantasy team. Linehan may be in over his head.
-I picked the Chargers by 10 points. Friggin' Norv. Why would I EVER pick a Norv Turner coached team? What the hell is my problem? LT is still a beast. Vincent Jackson had a nice game. Antonio Gates went OFF. I still think they're only a little bit off, but man . . .
-I picked the Vikings. The NFL just got a bit more depressing because the Chiefs won a game. Who outside of Missouri wouldn't have been excited to see them go 0-16? I'm a little surprised the Vikings defense didn't shut out the Chiefs. Dwayne Bowe is starting to look like a good pick for Kansas City, by the way.
-I picked the Broncos by 35 points. To hell with Del Rio. I stand by my pick. Surely there was a Jaguars camera somewhere on Denver's sideline.
-I had the Skins by 12. They really let me down. I knew they'd lose when the Giants marched down the field and made it 17-10. The Skins had that look.
-I had the Bears. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Boy, that was a laugher. Jesus Christ. If there is a fantasy league where you pick the worst players week to week, let me know. Rex just NEVER fails to suck. Man oh man. As bad as Rex has been, that team needs an explosive back to compliment Cedric Benson. And what's with these Bears fans and their "Good Rex"? Good Rex, my ass. This guy must do a lot of charity work . . .
-I had the Saints. By midway through the first quarter, I was rooting for the Titans, so I don't feel so bad. But Drew Brees has to be one of the big stories of the NFL so far this season. Everything about him was off Monday night. His body language, his feet, his decision-making, everything was bad. He sucked! He played just as bad as Grossman. The same bad decisions, the same inaccuracy, the same results. On the flip side, I got 120 or so points from Lendale White! You know you're going down in flames when you're thrilled to get 70 yards and a score from your running back. What the fuck?
Week 4 picks coming later. Go Skynards.
1. Drew Brees is playing terribly. Watching the Saints on MNF, I was pretty shocked by his performance. The 3rd interception was the result of his arm getting knocked as he released the ball, and the 4th was a deflection off his receiver's chest, but he played an awful game. He had happy feet in the pocket all game, he was never set to throw. He had one or two completions downfield, but even those were off-balance throws into coverage and his receivers bailed him out. Honestly, his performance was indistinguishable from that of Rex Grossman Sunday night, except that I think the Cowboys are a better defensive team than the Titans, and there's no way Grossman has the options that Brees has. He just looked awful. I think the Saints are in big big trouble, and I'm not talking about the three losses. They might not win 5 games this year. On a positive note, Reggie Bush looked great in goal-line situations. He was too quick to the edge for the Titans on the first score, and then went right up the gut on the second one. If only he were that decisive on all his runs.
2. This is the only thing I'll say about the Donovan McNabb thing: Why has there never been a black US President? Why has there never been a black Vice President? Why are there so few black senators and representatives? Why are there so few black head coaches in the NCAA? The NFL? MLB? The NBA? Why are there so few black quarterbacks, in a league that is dominated by black athletes? I'm not saying we live in a racist nation, but you're a fucking liar and an idiot if you don't acknowledge the presence of racism and prejudice against blacks in our society. Of COURSE black quarterbacks are subjected to pressures and criticism that their white counterparts aren't faced with. Who would suggest that there aren't any players in the NFL who still don't believe a black quarterback can succeed? Or any coaches? Or any scouts? Or any members of the media? Or any fans? Don't be ridiculous. Look at Daunte Culpepper's career numbers. Or Donovan McNabb's. Or Byron Leftwich's. There's very little chance that these guys would have faced the same questions about their careers if they were white. In 1999, Culpepper threw for almost 4,000 yards with 33 touchdowns and 16 picks, and a 98 quarterback rating. In 2004, 4,700 yards with 39 touchdowns and 11 picks, with a 111 quarterback rating. Then he hurt his leg in 2005, and two years later, he's on the bench behind Josh McCown on a last place team, playing on a 1 year contract. This is a guy who took his team to the NFC championship, a quarterback with a career 90.9 passer rating who ought to be in his prime. I'm sorry, but if anybody can find me a white quarterback with anything like a similar story, please let me know. I'm NOT saying the NFL on the whole is a racist league, not at all. I am saying that Donovan McNabb was right, and he wasn't even making a point. He was stating the obvious. We don't live in a perfect society, there is still racism, and once we acknowledge that, then we must understand that there are no corners of society, no nooks, no jobs or positions where blacks aren't faced with challenges that their white counterparts are free of. Ok, that's all I'll ever say about the whole McNabb thing.
3. I'm sick of Joe Gibbs. I'd like to give the man a lot of credit for what he's done for the Redskins, and I'm not talking about his previous tenure. The Redskins have been one of the most mis-managed franchises in all of sports for the last 15 years. In his time back with the team, he has assembled a top-notch coaching staff, compiled a roster of solid pros, drafted extremely well, fielded a competitive team, and helped the franchise dig their way out of a deep salary cap hole. But he can't coach a game anymore. The Skins are a horribly conservative team. They never go out to really dominate a game and run away from teams. They try to plod their way down field and sneak into the endzone, and then they immediately retreat and try to bury their lead like squirrels. The Eagles put up 56 points on Sunday. In the 4th quarter of a blow-out win last week, the Patriots ran off-tackle on 4th and goal to put the cherry on top of a dominating performance against the Chargers. Great NFL teams don't make it look hard, they make it look easy. The Redskins don't look like a great NFL team, they look like a hard-working NFL team. Jason Campbell has a huge arm and great mobility. Santana Moss and Anwan Randle El are two of the fastest receivers out there. Clinton Portis is far more effective playing in space. Even Brandon Lloyd, who has been labeled a free-agent bust, is an explosive deep threat. Al Saunders' offense is designed to create mismatches by putting his playmakers in the open field and spreading the ball around. Gibbs is the wet blanket on what ought to be an explosive, wide open offense. Look, I love the concept of a punishing ground game as much as anybody, but when you have the players to take shots down field and open things up, you have to do it. The Redskins took their collective foot off the throttle in all phases of their loss on Sunday. They stopped blitzing on third down and Eli picked their secondary to pieces. They stopped taking shots down the field and couldn't back the Giants defense out of the box, and the result was long third-downs and too many three and outs. I don't even know where to start regarding the last four downs. My point here is this: the Redskins really need to open up the playbook and put points on the board, and if Joe Gibbs is the guy who insists on the anemic, cautious approach on both ends, well . . .
4. The following coaches are crap, and should be replaced:
1. Tom Coughlin
2. Jack Del Rio
3. Herm Edwards
4. Norv Turner
I'm holding out on Marvin Lewis, but just barely.
Coughlin is a joke. I can't believe they ever re-signed this guy. Frankly, I was appalled when they hired him in the first place. What a total cry-baby this guy is on the sidelines. The Giants SCREAM mutiny. They are a few more losses away from a major blow-up or some sort of media showdown.
I friggin' hate Jack Del Rio. He totally sold Byron Leftwich out. On the other hand, his teams do compete. I hope they go down in flames so he can get shit-canned.
Herm Edwards is flat-out the worst coach in the NFL, by a wide margin. I was a big fan of his when he took over in New Jersey. My brother started in with the whole "Herm Edwards is a terrible game-day coach" bit, and I pretty much dismissed that idea. When he got the job in Kansas City, I was optimistic. But man, when you watch him on the sidelines, he is just so clueless. I wonder how anybody on the Chiefs DOESN'T give up the moment things start to go poorly. Herm has no idea what he's doing over there! He just shakes his head and stares off into the distance!
Norv Turner . . .jeez. I like Norv. I even liked him here in Washington. But he can't be a head coach. The Chargers have no balls at all. The Redskins had no balls when he was here. His teams have no balls. They play like they don't know how to win, and they collapse when they aren't having success. This is going to be the final nail in his career as a head coach. This Chargers team is in big trouble, I would not be shocked if both he and A. J. Smith are gone by midseason. The biggest two scares were the exchange between LT and Rivers on the sideline, and then LT at the podium. He didn't sound like a guy who was disappointed by a couple of consecutive losses; he sounded like a guy who sees the team headed in the wrong direction.
5. The following coaches are great, and should be extended:
1. Jeff Fisher
2. Ken Wisenhunt
3. Mike Nolan
4. Mike McCarthy
5. Mike Tomlin
6. Gary Kubiak
There are a few other great head coaches, but they're the really obvious ones.
Jeff Fisher was extended. He's been with the Titans for 14 years now, has won more than he's lost in the regular season and post-season, and is the rare coach that guides his team through a rebuilding phase. His teams ALWAYS play hard. I'd say the only blemishes on his career are the signing of Kerry Collins and the handling of the departure of McNair, but those are small blemishes. They even survived an epic salary cap disaster that led to their rebuilding in the first place, and here they are, looking for all the world like a playoff team after a thumping of New Orleans on the road Monday night. When you have a good coach who you believe in, you keep him around. You don't just change for the sake of change.
I have to give it to Wisenhunt. I was really disturbed to see that he'd turned to Kurt Warner twice in the game against the Ravens. Normally, that's the type of move that drives me crazy. But they came back and nearly got the victory, and in the end, it was his willingness to make a move that kept them in the game. The Cardinals are a talented, explosive team that ought to be 2-1, and though they're just 1-2, it's rare that you can look at a coaching decision and know definitively that it improved the team's chances of winning.
Mike Nolan just looks and acts like a head coach, and he's turned a totally lost and awful franchise into a team that expects to win and is expected to win. They draft beautifully and put their players in position to make plays. I couldn't stand this guy when he was the Redskins defensive coordinator, but I've become a believer. The 49ers are really competitive, and I expect them to be a playoff team this year.
Mike McCarthy is the head coach of the 3-0 Packers. McCarthy was brought in to lead the rebuilding effort, to coach Aaron Rodgers, to work with a young team and build a competitor. Then he got stuck with Brett Favre, and his expectation changed. Instead of building for the future, he needed to win in the small window he had left with his aging superstar. The Packers are winning, Favre is playing smart, efficient football, and the young players on the roster are making big contributions. All that without a running game. I expect them to target a back in the 08 draft. McCarthy ought to have a long future with a franchise that has been extremely loyal to their coaches.
The Steelers are one of the best teams in the NFL, right up there with the Patriots. I have the Steelers ahead of the Colts. They are perhaps the most balanced offense in football, and their defense has been dominant. At this point, I'd say they have the best chance of challenging the Patriots in the AFC Championship. Tomlin has to get some of the credit. The blueprint was laid out by Cowher, and the roster is full of great picks and free-agent signings, but as we are witnessing with Norv Turner, that doesn't necessarily lead to success. Tomlin has the Steelers playing excellent football, and this is another franchise that trusts their coaches and sticks with them.
If the Texans win 7 games this year, Kubiak will have earned a big-time extension. This is another case of a team that expects to compete and win, and that's really saying something when you consider that the team has never had any measure of success. Kubiak has a history of coaching successful teams, so it's not a shock that he's brought a winning attitude to the Texans. The AFC South is a really tough division, and they've been hit by the injury bug, big-time, but Kubiak seems to have changed the attitude of the franchise, and the fact that they stayed in there against the Colts, without their best playmaker in Andre Johnson, tells me that they are a serious, competitive team.
6. I took a shit-bath on my picks in Week 3, to the tune of 6-10. Among my biggest disappointments:
-I picked the Rams in a blowout. What the hell? The Rams are in big trouble. I was seduced by their history of scoring lots of points. Stephen Jackson is out at least a week. Isaac Bruce is officially a chump, albeit one who is killing my fantasy team. Linehan may be in over his head.
-I picked the Chargers by 10 points. Friggin' Norv. Why would I EVER pick a Norv Turner coached team? What the hell is my problem? LT is still a beast. Vincent Jackson had a nice game. Antonio Gates went OFF. I still think they're only a little bit off, but man . . .
-I picked the Vikings. The NFL just got a bit more depressing because the Chiefs won a game. Who outside of Missouri wouldn't have been excited to see them go 0-16? I'm a little surprised the Vikings defense didn't shut out the Chiefs. Dwayne Bowe is starting to look like a good pick for Kansas City, by the way.
-I picked the Broncos by 35 points. To hell with Del Rio. I stand by my pick. Surely there was a Jaguars camera somewhere on Denver's sideline.
-I had the Skins by 12. They really let me down. I knew they'd lose when the Giants marched down the field and made it 17-10. The Skins had that look.
-I had the Bears. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Boy, that was a laugher. Jesus Christ. If there is a fantasy league where you pick the worst players week to week, let me know. Rex just NEVER fails to suck. Man oh man. As bad as Rex has been, that team needs an explosive back to compliment Cedric Benson. And what's with these Bears fans and their "Good Rex"? Good Rex, my ass. This guy must do a lot of charity work . . .
-I had the Saints. By midway through the first quarter, I was rooting for the Titans, so I don't feel so bad. But Drew Brees has to be one of the big stories of the NFL so far this season. Everything about him was off Monday night. His body language, his feet, his decision-making, everything was bad. He sucked! He played just as bad as Grossman. The same bad decisions, the same inaccuracy, the same results. On the flip side, I got 120 or so points from Lendale White! You know you're going down in flames when you're thrilled to get 70 yards and a score from your running back. What the fuck?
Week 4 picks coming later. Go Skynards.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Don't Bet on These Week 3 NFL Picks
St. Louis @ Tampa Bay
I'm really hoping St. Louis wins this game. Why? Because there's reason to be excited about St. Louis, and virtually no reason to care about the Bucs. Also, sooner or later, the Rams will bust out with a nice offensive game. Why not against the crappy Bucs?
Rams over Bucs, 31-14 Yeah, I have it as a blow-out. All the better to be embarrassed by if I'm wrong.
San Diego @ Green Bay
Again, San Diego needs to win this game because they're the more exciting team. The Packers are such a lowsy, depressing, overrated squad. I'm sick of the Brett Favre retirement tour. Go Chargers.
Chargers over Packers, 24-14
Miami @ NY Jets
Ugh. I can't stand the Dolphins. They have no future. How does ANY GM look at their roster from last year and decide that the best way to improve is to get a punch-drunk 37 year-old journeyman? Gimme a break. What a sad-sack franchise. I'd pity their fans, if they didn't live in Miami. The Jets, on the other hand. . .oh wait. They stink too.
Jets over Miami, 13-9 This one ought to come down to a last minute, three yard touchdown completion to Jumbo Elliott that completes an epic comeback.
Arizona @ Baltimore
I actually like both of these teams. I like the players, I like the coaches. Arizona has been pounding the ball effectively so far, but they really don't need to, which is great, because they won't really be able to against Baltimore. Arizona has elite receivers, and Baltimore has been shaky against the pass.
Cardinals over Ravens, 27-20
Indianapolis @ Houston
I think its a real shame that Andre Johnson is out for this one. I would really like to see what Houston could do at full strength against the big bullies in their division, at home. I think the loss of your best and only playmaker is too much to overcome for a young team like Houston. Also, I think great veteran teams flex their muscles and step on the throats of young, upstart division rivals, and that's what I see happening in this game.
Colts over Texans, 35-13 I see a blow-out. Why wouldn't the Colts score five touchdowns?
Detroit @ Philadelphia
To hell with all this excitement over the Lions. As much as I like underdogs, I just can't stomach the idea of Matt Millen hanging onto this job. How does a guy who refers to a player on his own team as a "devout coward" stick around this long? Eh, it's all been said before . . .this guy sucks. Plus, damn it, I like the Eagles, I think they're a lot better than their record. Just like the Michigan Wolverines. Sooner or later, they'll get it going.
Eagles over Lions, 30-24 I'm putting a lot of points on the boards this week. Why the hell not? The Ohio Oranges put up 96 points last week!
Minnesota @ Kansas City
Minnesota was a really competitive team last year, with a tough as hell defense, a solid running game, and very little offense. What's changed this year? It isn't like they had Joe Montana last year. They had jack shit at quarterback in 2006, and they played a lot of teams tough. The running theme for this week's picks is that Donovan McNabb was right. Its Tarvaris Jackson. If he were Colt McWhitey, nobody would say shit.
Well, maybe not "nobody." And I left myself no room to crap on the Chiefs, so I'll just sum it all up: Herm Edwards is the worst coach in the NFL. What a turd.
Vikings over Chiefs, 16-6
Buffalo @ New England
Yeah right. Buffalo has no chance. They'll be steam-rolled in this one. What a shame, I kinda like the Bills. Speaking of Bills, Bill Simmons crapped the bed by not naming this game as the number one Obvious Game. What a homer.
Patriots over Bills, 38-14 Keeping the 38-14 streak alive in Week 3!
San Francisco @ Pittsburgh
San Francisco has a lot to be excited about, just not the outcome of this one. They haven't done jack squat offensively, and Pittsburgh's defense is quite tough. For years, the Steelers have been a dominant defense that tried to do enough offensively to win or not lose. They seemed to have changed their profile a bit this year, with huge offensive numbers through two weeks. In Pittsburgh, I'm taking the Steelers.
Steelers over 49ers, 20-13
Cleveland @ Oakland
Cleveland has big-time offensive weapons. Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow are studs. Jamal Lewis has been a great back and is coming off a 200 yard game. Whether Derek Anderson is a fluke or not, they have players who can make plays, and a decent offensive line. On the other hand, Oakland has very little to threaten a defense, and their own defense has looked pretty shaky through 2 weeks. Strange that I'd be predicting a 2-1 start for the Browns, but . . .
Browns over Raiders, 19-17 I think it'll be close. Cleveland has no secondary.
Cincinnati @ Seattle
I expect there to be a lot of scoring in this one. Not because Seattle's defense is bad, but because Cincinnati can really score, and they also can't stop anyone. I'd love to load up on Seahawks and Bengals on my fantasy team this week. Alas, my hopes ride on Lendale White breaking out. Don't ask.
Bengals over Seahawks, 77-76 Why the hell not? The Bengals are very likely to give up 76 points, so they'll need the big offensive numbers.
Jacksonville @ Denver
Jack Del Rio is a big piece of shit. He doesn't have a goddamn clue what the hell he's doing. I hope they don't win a game the whole rest of the way. I actully like a player or two on the Jags, but to hell with their coach. Let's pile on here . . .what the hell was the NFL thinking putting the Super Bowl in that shit-ass city? Furthermore, why the hell does the ACC play their championship down there? What's with that ridiculous elevated train? Are you KIDDING ME? There are like 14 people in Jacksonville, and NONE of them need an elevated train. Did you ever see that episode of The Simpsons, the Music Man episode where the snake-oil salesman charms Springfield into buying a monorail? Yeah, that's Jacksonville, you bunch of hicks.
Denver over Jacksonville, 37-2 Why? Because two is somehow more embarrassing than zero.
NY Giants @ Washington
I'm a homer. I'm terrified that the Skins will blow this one. This game has "embarrassing collapse" written all over it. Nevertheless, I'm taking the Skynards, and hoping the Giants break out against someone else. 'Cause you know it's coming.
Redskins over Giants, 28-16
Carolina @ Atlanta
Poor Atlanta. There's no reason to expect them to win. They're outclassed on both sides of the ball. The good news is they can look forward to selecting Andre Woodson with the first overall pick in the draft next year. Props to Woodson for breaking Trent Dilfer's NCAA record for consecutive passes without an interception.
Panthers over Falcons, 24-10
Dallas @ Chicago
I wish I could remember who I picked for this game in my other blog. Ummmm . . .hell with it, I'm taking Chicago. Oh RIGHT! Now I remember, I needed to pick a home team. I've picked a shitload of visitors in week 3. Go Bears!
Bears over Cowboys, 21-20
Tennessee @ New Orleans
I really like the Titans. I'm a big Jeff Fisher guy, and I still like Vince Young, even though I now think he's way overrated. Having said all of that, I'm taking the Saints. Playing their home opener on Monday Night in a game they REALLY need, I think they have to get it going. Also, in the recent past, Tennessee was an abysmal defensive squad. That ought to mean something.
Saints over Titans, 27-24
Go Skynards.
I'm really hoping St. Louis wins this game. Why? Because there's reason to be excited about St. Louis, and virtually no reason to care about the Bucs. Also, sooner or later, the Rams will bust out with a nice offensive game. Why not against the crappy Bucs?
Rams over Bucs, 31-14 Yeah, I have it as a blow-out. All the better to be embarrassed by if I'm wrong.
San Diego @ Green Bay
Again, San Diego needs to win this game because they're the more exciting team. The Packers are such a lowsy, depressing, overrated squad. I'm sick of the Brett Favre retirement tour. Go Chargers.
Chargers over Packers, 24-14
Miami @ NY Jets
Ugh. I can't stand the Dolphins. They have no future. How does ANY GM look at their roster from last year and decide that the best way to improve is to get a punch-drunk 37 year-old journeyman? Gimme a break. What a sad-sack franchise. I'd pity their fans, if they didn't live in Miami. The Jets, on the other hand. . .oh wait. They stink too.
Jets over Miami, 13-9 This one ought to come down to a last minute, three yard touchdown completion to Jumbo Elliott that completes an epic comeback.
Arizona @ Baltimore
I actually like both of these teams. I like the players, I like the coaches. Arizona has been pounding the ball effectively so far, but they really don't need to, which is great, because they won't really be able to against Baltimore. Arizona has elite receivers, and Baltimore has been shaky against the pass.
Cardinals over Ravens, 27-20
Indianapolis @ Houston
I think its a real shame that Andre Johnson is out for this one. I would really like to see what Houston could do at full strength against the big bullies in their division, at home. I think the loss of your best and only playmaker is too much to overcome for a young team like Houston. Also, I think great veteran teams flex their muscles and step on the throats of young, upstart division rivals, and that's what I see happening in this game.
Colts over Texans, 35-13 I see a blow-out. Why wouldn't the Colts score five touchdowns?
Detroit @ Philadelphia
To hell with all this excitement over the Lions. As much as I like underdogs, I just can't stomach the idea of Matt Millen hanging onto this job. How does a guy who refers to a player on his own team as a "devout coward" stick around this long? Eh, it's all been said before . . .this guy sucks. Plus, damn it, I like the Eagles, I think they're a lot better than their record. Just like the Michigan Wolverines. Sooner or later, they'll get it going.
Eagles over Lions, 30-24 I'm putting a lot of points on the boards this week. Why the hell not? The Ohio Oranges put up 96 points last week!
Minnesota @ Kansas City
Minnesota was a really competitive team last year, with a tough as hell defense, a solid running game, and very little offense. What's changed this year? It isn't like they had Joe Montana last year. They had jack shit at quarterback in 2006, and they played a lot of teams tough. The running theme for this week's picks is that Donovan McNabb was right. Its Tarvaris Jackson. If he were Colt McWhitey, nobody would say shit.
Well, maybe not "nobody." And I left myself no room to crap on the Chiefs, so I'll just sum it all up: Herm Edwards is the worst coach in the NFL. What a turd.
Vikings over Chiefs, 16-6
Buffalo @ New England
Yeah right. Buffalo has no chance. They'll be steam-rolled in this one. What a shame, I kinda like the Bills. Speaking of Bills, Bill Simmons crapped the bed by not naming this game as the number one Obvious Game. What a homer.
Patriots over Bills, 38-14 Keeping the 38-14 streak alive in Week 3!
San Francisco @ Pittsburgh
San Francisco has a lot to be excited about, just not the outcome of this one. They haven't done jack squat offensively, and Pittsburgh's defense is quite tough. For years, the Steelers have been a dominant defense that tried to do enough offensively to win or not lose. They seemed to have changed their profile a bit this year, with huge offensive numbers through two weeks. In Pittsburgh, I'm taking the Steelers.
Steelers over 49ers, 20-13
Cleveland @ Oakland
Cleveland has big-time offensive weapons. Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow are studs. Jamal Lewis has been a great back and is coming off a 200 yard game. Whether Derek Anderson is a fluke or not, they have players who can make plays, and a decent offensive line. On the other hand, Oakland has very little to threaten a defense, and their own defense has looked pretty shaky through 2 weeks. Strange that I'd be predicting a 2-1 start for the Browns, but . . .
Browns over Raiders, 19-17 I think it'll be close. Cleveland has no secondary.
Cincinnati @ Seattle
I expect there to be a lot of scoring in this one. Not because Seattle's defense is bad, but because Cincinnati can really score, and they also can't stop anyone. I'd love to load up on Seahawks and Bengals on my fantasy team this week. Alas, my hopes ride on Lendale White breaking out. Don't ask.
Bengals over Seahawks, 77-76 Why the hell not? The Bengals are very likely to give up 76 points, so they'll need the big offensive numbers.
Jacksonville @ Denver
Jack Del Rio is a big piece of shit. He doesn't have a goddamn clue what the hell he's doing. I hope they don't win a game the whole rest of the way. I actully like a player or two on the Jags, but to hell with their coach. Let's pile on here . . .what the hell was the NFL thinking putting the Super Bowl in that shit-ass city? Furthermore, why the hell does the ACC play their championship down there? What's with that ridiculous elevated train? Are you KIDDING ME? There are like 14 people in Jacksonville, and NONE of them need an elevated train. Did you ever see that episode of The Simpsons, the Music Man episode where the snake-oil salesman charms Springfield into buying a monorail? Yeah, that's Jacksonville, you bunch of hicks.
Denver over Jacksonville, 37-2 Why? Because two is somehow more embarrassing than zero.
NY Giants @ Washington
I'm a homer. I'm terrified that the Skins will blow this one. This game has "embarrassing collapse" written all over it. Nevertheless, I'm taking the Skynards, and hoping the Giants break out against someone else. 'Cause you know it's coming.
Redskins over Giants, 28-16
Carolina @ Atlanta
Poor Atlanta. There's no reason to expect them to win. They're outclassed on both sides of the ball. The good news is they can look forward to selecting Andre Woodson with the first overall pick in the draft next year. Props to Woodson for breaking Trent Dilfer's NCAA record for consecutive passes without an interception.
Panthers over Falcons, 24-10
Dallas @ Chicago
I wish I could remember who I picked for this game in my other blog. Ummmm . . .hell with it, I'm taking Chicago. Oh RIGHT! Now I remember, I needed to pick a home team. I've picked a shitload of visitors in week 3. Go Bears!
Bears over Cowboys, 21-20
Tennessee @ New Orleans
I really like the Titans. I'm a big Jeff Fisher guy, and I still like Vince Young, even though I now think he's way overrated. Having said all of that, I'm taking the Saints. Playing their home opener on Monday Night in a game they REALLY need, I think they have to get it going. Also, in the recent past, Tennessee was an abysmal defensive squad. That ought to mean something.
Saints over Titans, 27-24
Go Skynards.
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