The Final Weekend of the NFL Regular Season!

Some of these games could be interesting, but the majority probably won't amount to much, unless you like NFL pre-season games. Still, I'll be watching.

New England @ New York Giants

I expect the Giants to chicken-out and play their bums, letting the Patriots roll right over them. I wouldn't do it if I were Coughlin: his quarterback looks like crap, his defense has been suspect, and he doesn't have much time for his offense to develop consistency without one of their key guys in Jeremy Shockey. In my opinion, they need to play everyone and they need for those guys to play well. Besides, let's go nuts here and suggest they have a chance in hell of winning this game: what better way to go into the playoffs than after upsetting the 15-0 Patriots at home in the final game? No, really, is there a better way? I say no. If the Giants roll their eyes at that, they don't belong in the playoffs. They can't operate under the assumption that there's a team out there they CANNOT beat at home. Imagine, for a second, that the Giants make their way to the Super Bowl: won't real game experience against the Patriots work in their favor if they meet again? I don't know, if I'm Coughlin, I play this game to win from start to finish. If they find themselves down by a few scores in the second half, maybe they pull some guys, but I'm at least taking a shot at pulling the upset. (They're getting killed.)
Patriots over Giants by many, many points

Seattle @ Atlanta

Who'll be shocked if the Seahawks are upset in Atlanta on Sunday? Not this guy. Atlanta has more to play for than Seattle and showed some life against the Cards in week 16. Because I think the Seahawks are totally phony, I'm going to assume the Seahawks coaches think the same thing. If they have the arrogance to sit their starters or take it easy, they'll have done as much to earn the inevitable pounding they'll take in the playoffs as possible. More than any playoff team, the Seahawks have a lot to prove to NFL fans out there, this is another game where I would come out guns blazing and try to put a real hurting on the Falcons. The Seahawks need the boost.
Seahawks over Falcons, 21-13

San Francisco @ Cleveland

If the Browns have one shriveled testicle between the lot of them, they'll win this game by two scores. Seriously, if they can't get their act together long enough to flatten this doormat with their playoff hopes hanging in the balance, they don't deserve to go. They need to get healthy in this game, Derek Anderson needs to show up, and by God, they need a big, big victory. They couldn't have asked for a better team to face in a must-win game: the 49ers are about as bad as NFL teams get. Go Browns!
Browns over 49ers, 27-16

New Orleans @ Chicago

The Saints could lose this game. Chicago is a proud team, a bunch of tough-guys playing in a harsh environment with nothing but pride on the line. They just shelled the Packers, and the Saints ain't the Packers. Unlike the Packers, and working in New Orleans' favor, the Saints have a lot on the line in this game. Their very slim playoff hopes hang on their ability to walk away with a huge road win in the final week. With so much riding on this game, I'm not going to pick against them, and we'll learn a WHOLE LOT about Drew Brees from his performance in this one. He stunk out the joint last Sunday, he needs a rebound.
Saints over Bears, 28-20

Cincinnati @ Miami

The Bengals will probably win. Miami stinks. It could go either way, and either way, I won't be watching, nor will I care.
Bengals over Dolphins, 41-10

Buffalo @ Philadelphia

In all honesty, this is a big game for both franchises. A win for either team gets them to .500, a respectable end to any season. Buffalo will have the all-important road-field advantage, since Philly fans are the biggest bunch of asshole morons in sports, so they could very well pull it out. Because I still think Donovan McNabb is an elite quarterback and Brian Westbrook is terrifying, I'm giving the nod to the Eagles. Yes, even though they're at a significant disadvantage playing in front of a hostile crowd in enemy territory.
Eagles over Bills, 30-17

Carolina @ Tampa Bay

C'mon, Bucs, pull your heads out of your asses and get a win. Carolina stinks, you're not so good that you can overcome consecutive losses to end the season. Put a hurting on the Panthers, in your place, and finish the season with a win.
Bucs over Panthers, 21-10

Detroit @ Green Bay

The Packers need this win, they really do. They got their balls ripped off and fed to 'em by the Bears last Sunday, they're not so good that they can go into the playoffs with that kind of momentum and get a win, even at home. Detroit is a mess, the Packers shouldn't let 'em off the mat. Go Packers!
Packers over Lions, 28-14

Jacksonville @ Houston

The Texans need it more, but the Jags are on a roll! If the Jags play their starters, they should win by a bunch. If they take it easy, the Texans will get to .500 to end the season for the first time in franchise history. Because Del Rio still hasn't convinced me he's not a moron, I think he'll take it easy and give the Texans a chance. I don't know . . . I want the Texans to win, but in the end, I can't pick against the hotter-than-hell Jaguars, even on the road.
Jaguars over Texans, 17-16

Pittsburgh @ Baltimore

Pittsburgh is so much better than Baltimore. The Ravens are utter crap, one of the worst teams in football and easily one of the least likeable. Call me crazy, but isn't the third seed in the AFC playoffs up for grabs? If Pittsburgh loses and San Diego wins, doesn't that give the Chargers the third seed? Does that matter? It does to me, dammit! One thing to watch for in this game: Troy Smith, who against many odds, is suddenly looking like the guy in Baltimore. They'll probably sell him up the river or undermine him at every opportunity, but this guy is a competitor, an athlete, and a winner, and he's been the only guy with a pulse on their offense for weeks. With a few games at the end of this season and a full off-season, he could be an exciting piece for the Ravens in 2008.
Steelers over Ravens, 24-13

Dallas @ Washington

Here it is, Washington's season right here. Of the three teams with any hope of landing the final wild-card in the NFC, Washington is the only team that controls their own destiny and the only team playing at home. They're also the only team playing a division opponent with nothing to play for but the rivalry. I've been to a season-ender against Dallas at FedEx and two season-ending home games against Dallas for the Skins, both were huge for different reasons, but both had one thing in common: the stadium was absolutely NUTS. The first one was the final game at RFK, and it was crazy. The second was Darrell Green's final home game, and the fans were absolutely out of control. Every time anything good happened, the place exploded. We're talking about the NFL's largest stadium, packed to the brim with lunatic fans, against the biggest rival we know, with something huge on the line, at the end of the season. This might be the biggest regular-season finale in Skins history. What does that mean? It means the Redskins should be able to win this game on emotion alone. If they don't turn the ball over too much and make a handful of big plays, the crowd will carry them to victory, that's a promise. No way in HELL am I picking against the Skins under those circumstances.
Redskins over Cowboys, 35-10

St. Louis @ Arizona

Sorry, I blew my wad on that last one, nothing left for this turd.
Cardinals over Rams, 31-24

Minnesota @ Denver

The Vikings are a great running team, the Broncos are a terrible run defense. The Vikings should win, hopefully it won't matter.
Vikings over Broncos, 17-14

San Diego @ Oakland

Oakland showed how much fight it has left in the bloodbath against Jacksonville. San Diego is not as good as Jacksonville, but they're a shit-load better than the Raiders. Here's hoping JaMarcus Russell fares well!
Chargers over Raiders, 24-12

Kansas City @ New York Jets

Worst possible match-up. Hilarious!
Jets by a few points.

Tennessee @ Indianapolis

I do believe the Colts will sit many offensive players, but let's not forget what Indy has done to division foes this season: 5-0, 29.4 ppg, plus Indy has one of the best defenses in football. I expect the Colts to win and keep their division-mates out of the post-season. I also want the Colts to win so the Browns can get in. It's true. By the way, this is a pretty good final regular season game of the year.
Colts over Titans, 24-20

Go Skynards!