Don't Bet on These Week 3 NFL Picks

St. Louis @ Tampa Bay

I'm really hoping St. Louis wins this game. Why? Because there's reason to be excited about St. Louis, and virtually no reason to care about the Bucs. Also, sooner or later, the Rams will bust out with a nice offensive game. Why not against the crappy Bucs?
Rams over Bucs, 31-14 Yeah, I have it as a blow-out. All the better to be embarrassed by if I'm wrong.

San Diego @ Green Bay

Again, San Diego needs to win this game because they're the more exciting team. The Packers are such a lowsy, depressing, overrated squad. I'm sick of the Brett Favre retirement tour. Go Chargers.
Chargers over Packers, 24-14

Miami @ NY Jets

Ugh. I can't stand the Dolphins. They have no future. How does ANY GM look at their roster from last year and decide that the best way to improve is to get a punch-drunk 37 year-old journeyman? Gimme a break. What a sad-sack franchise. I'd pity their fans, if they didn't live in Miami. The Jets, on the other hand. . .oh wait. They stink too.
Jets over Miami, 13-9 This one ought to come down to a last minute, three yard touchdown completion to Jumbo Elliott that completes an epic comeback.

Arizona @ Baltimore

I actually like both of these teams. I like the players, I like the coaches. Arizona has been pounding the ball effectively so far, but they really don't need to, which is great, because they won't really be able to against Baltimore. Arizona has elite receivers, and Baltimore has been shaky against the pass.
Cardinals over Ravens, 27-20

Indianapolis @ Houston

I think its a real shame that Andre Johnson is out for this one. I would really like to see what Houston could do at full strength against the big bullies in their division, at home. I think the loss of your best and only playmaker is too much to overcome for a young team like Houston. Also, I think great veteran teams flex their muscles and step on the throats of young, upstart division rivals, and that's what I see happening in this game.
Colts over Texans, 35-13 I see a blow-out. Why wouldn't the Colts score five touchdowns?

Detroit @ Philadelphia

To hell with all this excitement over the Lions. As much as I like underdogs, I just can't stomach the idea of Matt Millen hanging onto this job. How does a guy who refers to a player on his own team as a "devout coward" stick around this long? Eh, it's all been said before . . .this guy sucks. Plus, damn it, I like the Eagles, I think they're a lot better than their record. Just like the Michigan Wolverines. Sooner or later, they'll get it going.
Eagles over Lions, 30-24 I'm putting a lot of points on the boards this week. Why the hell not? The Ohio Oranges put up 96 points last week!

Minnesota @ Kansas City

Minnesota was a really competitive team last year, with a tough as hell defense, a solid running game, and very little offense. What's changed this year? It isn't like they had Joe Montana last year. They had jack shit at quarterback in 2006, and they played a lot of teams tough. The running theme for this week's picks is that Donovan McNabb was right. Its Tarvaris Jackson. If he were Colt McWhitey, nobody would say shit.
Well, maybe not "nobody." And I left myself no room to crap on the Chiefs, so I'll just sum it all up: Herm Edwards is the worst coach in the NFL. What a turd.
Vikings over Chiefs, 16-6

Buffalo @ New England

Yeah right. Buffalo has no chance. They'll be steam-rolled in this one. What a shame, I kinda like the Bills. Speaking of Bills, Bill Simmons crapped the bed by not naming this game as the number one Obvious Game. What a homer.
Patriots over Bills, 38-14 Keeping the 38-14 streak alive in Week 3!

San Francisco @ Pittsburgh

San Francisco has a lot to be excited about, just not the outcome of this one. They haven't done jack squat offensively, and Pittsburgh's defense is quite tough. For years, the Steelers have been a dominant defense that tried to do enough offensively to win or not lose. They seemed to have changed their profile a bit this year, with huge offensive numbers through two weeks. In Pittsburgh, I'm taking the Steelers.
Steelers over 49ers, 20-13

Cleveland @ Oakland

Cleveland has big-time offensive weapons. Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow are studs. Jamal Lewis has been a great back and is coming off a 200 yard game. Whether Derek Anderson is a fluke or not, they have players who can make plays, and a decent offensive line. On the other hand, Oakland has very little to threaten a defense, and their own defense has looked pretty shaky through 2 weeks. Strange that I'd be predicting a 2-1 start for the Browns, but . . .
Browns over Raiders, 19-17 I think it'll be close. Cleveland has no secondary.

Cincinnati @ Seattle

I expect there to be a lot of scoring in this one. Not because Seattle's defense is bad, but because Cincinnati can really score, and they also can't stop anyone. I'd love to load up on Seahawks and Bengals on my fantasy team this week. Alas, my hopes ride on Lendale White breaking out. Don't ask.
Bengals over Seahawks, 77-76 Why the hell not? The Bengals are very likely to give up 76 points, so they'll need the big offensive numbers.

Jacksonville @ Denver

Jack Del Rio is a big piece of shit. He doesn't have a goddamn clue what the hell he's doing. I hope they don't win a game the whole rest of the way. I actully like a player or two on the Jags, but to hell with their coach. Let's pile on here . . .what the hell was the NFL thinking putting the Super Bowl in that shit-ass city? Furthermore, why the hell does the ACC play their championship down there? What's with that ridiculous elevated train? Are you KIDDING ME? There are like 14 people in Jacksonville, and NONE of them need an elevated train. Did you ever see that episode of The Simpsons, the Music Man episode where the snake-oil salesman charms Springfield into buying a monorail? Yeah, that's Jacksonville, you bunch of hicks.
Denver over Jacksonville, 37-2 Why? Because two is somehow more embarrassing than zero.

NY Giants @ Washington

I'm a homer. I'm terrified that the Skins will blow this one. This game has "embarrassing collapse" written all over it. Nevertheless, I'm taking the Skynards, and hoping the Giants break out against someone else. 'Cause you know it's coming.
Redskins over Giants, 28-16

Carolina @ Atlanta

Poor Atlanta. There's no reason to expect them to win. They're outclassed on both sides of the ball. The good news is they can look forward to selecting Andre Woodson with the first overall pick in the draft next year. Props to Woodson for breaking Trent Dilfer's NCAA record for consecutive passes without an interception.
Panthers over Falcons, 24-10

Dallas @ Chicago

I wish I could remember who I picked for this game in my other blog. Ummmm . . .hell with it, I'm taking Chicago. Oh RIGHT! Now I remember, I needed to pick a home team. I've picked a shitload of visitors in week 3. Go Bears!
Bears over Cowboys, 21-20

Tennessee @ New Orleans

I really like the Titans. I'm a big Jeff Fisher guy, and I still like Vince Young, even though I now think he's way overrated. Having said all of that, I'm taking the Saints. Playing their home opener on Monday Night in a game they REALLY need, I think they have to get it going. Also, in the recent past, Tennessee was an abysmal defensive squad. That ought to mean something.
Saints over Titans, 27-24

Go Skynards.