Week 12 Nose Picks

And here they are!

Green Bay @ Detroit

You've got to like the Packers in this one. They're on a roll, whereas the Lions have lost two straight and seem to have abandoned the run altogether. Detroit has been a lot better at home and really needs this win, but I don't see them finding their rhythm in time to disrupt the magic of the Packers. Kitna's prediction is on life support right now.
Packers over Lions, 27-21

New York Jets @ Dallas

The Jets have almost no chance in this one. They can't run the ball consistently and they won't try. They generated a fair amount of pressure against the Steelers, but that was an anomaly. They also have the second worst run defense in football. They're road kill in this one.
Cowboys over Jets, 38-13

Indianapolis @ Atlanta

I see the Colts getting back to their dominant ways in this one. Not just because Atlanta is that bad, but because the Colts are really good, and they won't stay down for long. Indianapolis's defense will feast on the awful Falcons offense, and I can see a defensive score for the Colts.
Colts over Falcons, 24-3

New Orleans @ Carolina

I can't see Carolina screwing it's head on straight enough to get a win right now. They're banged up and just plain bad. New Orleans is gasping, but they have offensive weapons and are desperate for a win. I can guess at a formula for them to win; I can't imagine how Carolina would ever win a game. Therefore . . .
Saints over Panthers, 23-20

Tennessee @ Cincinnati

I really need to pick a home team. Like the Eagles, you never know when the Bengals are going to bust out a monster offensive game. Like the Eagles, I've been waiting for the Bengals to sort it out and make a run for a few weeks, and it hasn't happened. As for Tennessee, so much rides on whether Albert Haynesworth plays. I'm assuming he will. That means the Tennessee front four will eat the Bengals line for breakfast, eliminating the ground game and disrupting Carson Palmer. He'll get a few scores, but Cincy doesn't seem to have the will to win these days. Tennessee, on the other hand, must win this game to stay in the wild-card hunt. This is a coin-flip, but I'm going with the Titans.
Titans over Bengals, 31-24

Houston @ Cleveland

I like both of these teams, but I especially like the Browns at home with the playoffs on the line. I see them moving the ball with ease on the Texans, but I also see the Texans hanging with them. Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson are a great duo, and they can score in a hurry. I need a home team, and I prefer Cleveland. That's a sorry formula for a pick, but there it is.
Browns over Texans, 28-24

Buffalo @ Jacksonville

I really want this one to be close. I'd love it if the Bills came in and took this game. Lord knows they need the win. They'll need Losman to pull off a couple of those deep strikes and make the Jags play from behind. I'm concerned that Marshawn Lynch isn't going to play in this one, and since that seems to be the early word, I'm taking the Jags. Go Bills!
Jaguars over Bills, 20-17

Oakland @ Kansas City

Hard to know why either team would win this game. Neither team has anything left at all. Kansas City has no running game and no passing game. Oakland keeps pounding the ball, but they can't do jack through the air, they're turnover prone, and their defense stinks. Screw it, take the home team.
Chiefs over Raiders, 13-7

Minnesota @ New York Giants

I'm taking New York in this one, but only because they're at home and I'd feel like an ass if I took Minnesota and they lost. But let me say this: Minnesota has a real chance of beating the crap out of the Giants. Why? Because they don't need to pass the ball to win, and that neutralizes the scary Giants pass rush. The Vikings have the best offensive line in the NFC, and Chester Taylor is way more than enough to make it count. For the Giants to win, they need Eli to protect the ball and make plays, and they need to stop the run. They won't have much success on the ground against the Vikings, but if they can pass the ball and limit Taylor, they should win. I don't know . . .
Giants over Vikings, 21-20

Seattle @ St. Louis

Again, don't be shocked if St. Louis jumps up and kills the Seahawks. St. Louis has the more balanced offense (Ha!), is at home, and has nothing to lose. Seattle is a bad road team, is butter-soft, too convinced of their own greatness, and primed for an upset. Still, you'd be an ass to take the bottom-feeding Rams over the finally-healthy-at-receiver Sea-jacks. Plus, I picked up D. J. Hackett for my fantasy team, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna pick against him.
Seahawks over Rams, 31-21

Washington @ Tampa Bay

I don't know enough about Tampa Bay to know how the Skins can beat them at home. I do know they don't scare anybody with their offensive players. I sense the key to beating them is putting pressure on Jeff Garcia without letting him leave the pocket. The Skins aren't any good at that. They also need to keep Ernest Graham in check, and that shouldn't be too hard. If they can force a few turnovers and move the ball like they did against Dallas, they should win. If they can play Dallas to the final whistle in Texas, they should be able to put up a hell of a fight against the Bucs. What, you thought I would pick against the Skins when the universe has conspired to keep them in the Wild Card race another week? Hell no! Interesting note: if the Skins sneak into the playoffs, they'd likely get Tampa Bay in the first round . . .again!
Redskins over Buccaneers, 24-14

San Francisco @ Arizona

Never, EVER pick the 49ers. I swear to God, I wouldn't pick them if the NFL let them play with twelve or even thirteen men on the field on both sides of the ball. I swear.
Cardinals over 49ers, 28-9

Denver @ Chicago

Trap game for Denver, coming off a big win on Monday night to put them in a tie atop the AFC West. Chicago is tough as nails. Still, it's tough to imagine the Bears moving the ball through the air, and since they have the worst starting tailback in the NFL (yep), they can't count on the "Denver Stat Bump" to help their cause. I don't feel too good about taking Denver on the road, but I watched 'em play Monday night, and I kinda like those whacky Broncos.
Broncos over Bears, 20-17

Baltimore @ San Diego

Who knows? Seriously, who knows? Nobody, that's who. Baltimore can't move the ball and can't score, certainly not against a defense better than Cleveland's. San Diego can't pass the ball and just has no rhythm whatsoever on offense. This is Norv Turner's job, right here. Since its a foregone conclusion that the Chargers won't be going to the Super Bowl (as they don't play in New England), the best they can do is salvage the regular season and hope to be the AFC representative in the pre-Super Bowl Patriots Feeding Frenzy. Home losses to sorry teams like the Ravens don't help. On the other hand, the Ravens are due another loss after goddamn Brian Billick embarrassed his whole friggin' COUNTRY by b&m-ing about the field goal that tied the game on Sunday. What a joke this guy is. How could a coach go on national television and shame himself and his franchise like that? The Ravens didn't go to the locker room because they thought they'd won the game, and the fact that the media fell for that crap is flat-out embarrassing. They went to the locker room to put pressure on the officials to not reverse the call, and when the officials got the call right, the only thing they could do was cry about it. Pathetic. Karma strikes back, you wankers.
Chargers over Ravens, 31-10 and LaDainian Tomlinson goes nuts and scores three touchdowns.

Philadelphia @ New England

Bor-ing. Wake me when it's over.
Patriots over Eagles, Some High Number - Some Low Number

Miami @ Pittsburgh

The Steelers rebound at home and thrash the hapless Dolphins. Every part of the Steelers offense gets healthy, and the game is essentially over by halftime.
Steelers over Dolphins, 35-13

You've got to admit, a guy who makes his picks on Tuesday and goes 11-5 is pretty impressive. We'll see about this week, these are some tough-to-call matchups. Warshingtin is back in the 1pm time-slot, which means I'll be watching them on NFL.com's far-superior-to-ESPN.com's Live Gamecast.

Go Skynards!